4 Months Ago….

My life changed forever as I witnessed the birth of the most beautiful child. In some respects I cannot believe its been 4 months already, in others, it feels like this sweet natured child has been part of our lives forever. I still get a lump in my throat in tears in my eyes when I think about how our very long journey ended. How suddenly we turned a corner and started living our dream.

Motherhood has changed me in ways I never imagined, it has taught me loving patience, it has made me vulnerable and yet brave & strong. I’ve learned that there is a type of love that no words can ever describe, a love so powerful that it hurts, a love that makes me mushy on the inside.

When she smiles at herself in the mirror, when I carry her and she rests her right hand on my shoulder and her left hand on my neck, when she smiles at me, when I watch her sleeping, I’m filled with an emotion that is indescribable. I’m filled with gratitude.

Every night, Walter and I follow the same ritual, just before I get into bed, while he is studying/working in the study, I’ll come to him and say:

Do you want to go and see heaven?

And then we go into her room, stand over her bed and admire the most beautiful child as she sleeps so peacefully, arms spread, left hand clutching her dudu blankie and then my eyes always fill with tears of joy and gratitude for what we longed for has finally been granted.

God has given us an angel, we are blessed in ways that words can not fully describe.

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  • Reply Me

    “Do you want to go and see heaven?”

    That just made my heart hurt a little….

    You’ve been blessed.

    April 13, 2010 at 10:18 am
  • Reply tanyakov

    That’s so beautiful! I also had a moment like that last night – I looked at Max while he slept with his arms above his head, his one hand clutching his little rabbit, and I cried from love. Babies are absolute perfection…

    On another note, I told my husband about Ava’s sleeping bag debacle, and last night he did a check for any loose threads, and will probably do one every night from now on! Lol!

    April 13, 2010 at 10:25 am
  • Reply wheresmybun

    You are so incredibly blessed! Ava truly is an angel!

    April 13, 2010 at 10:35 am
  • Reply tzipieastwest

    Ava is beautiful and it sounds like you are such sincere and loving parents.

    April 13, 2010 at 10:44 am
  • Reply darylfaure

    She is truly beautiful Sharon. You can start to see her personality shining through her eyes. I can’t wait to see her continue to grow and turn into a real little lady.

    April 13, 2010 at 11:03 am
  • Reply bethjane

    Beautiful, just beautiful…

    April 13, 2010 at 11:24 am
  • Reply thebinges

    Happy 4 months Ava.

    Sharon, you are truly blessed with a beautiful little girl. Congratulations.


    April 13, 2010 at 11:28 am
  • Reply mayflowerladybugs

    What a little sweetheart! Congrats on 4 months little Ava!

    Incidentally Rachel and Olivia are 15 months today! (also born on the 13th.) I sneak in often into their and their sister’s room, just to watch them breathing. Like you said, heaven.

    April 13, 2010 at 11:42 am
  • Reply vroutjie

    Too gorgeous!! Enjoy every moment.

    April 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm
  • Reply ttcnot2easy

    I really enjoyed this post. Can’t wait until we, too, can experience so much love and gratitude!

    April 13, 2010 at 12:58 pm
  • Reply zeud

    Snot and trane this side..
    I can so relate! Heaven is only a touch, a smell and a look away. We are blessed for the sneak peak into heaven every day!

    April 13, 2010 at 1:10 pm
  • Reply zamom

    Can’t believe it’s been 4 months already. Going in to check on them at night when they’re fast asleep has to be the ultimate thrill for me too.

    April 13, 2010 at 2:38 pm
  • Reply skrambled

    Such a sweet little face. I can’t believe how much she has grown.

    April 13, 2010 at 7:05 pm
  • Reply orbit365

    God is Awesome!


    April 13, 2010 at 8:33 pm
  • Reply lea2109

    She is just beautiful!

    April 13, 2010 at 9:12 pm
  • Reply anynamesavailable

    oh my heart that is too beautiful

    April 13, 2010 at 9:41 pm
  • Reply aussiekim

    Beautiful heartfelt post~!

    April 14, 2010 at 6:05 am
  • Reply ldr1604

    “Do you want to go and see heaven?” Floods of happy tears over here…

    April 15, 2010 at 12:10 pm
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