We have a lot on our plates at the moment, wanting our cake and wanting to eat it all too. Between our plans to emigrate, our second adoption attempt and Walter’s Masters Degree, we’ve been trying to work how many ways we can turn our money inside out to get it to stretch the farthest. To be sure, none of these are cheap by any stretch of the imagination. I’ve been trying not to sweat this stuff though because some how, some way, these minor details have a way of working themselves out.

For example, we had no time to prepare or save for Ava’s arrival but a few months prior, before we’d even considered adoption, Walter got retrenched (and then a week later employed by another company) at the time we thought it was the worst thing that could have happened, but we took the fat retrenchment pay out and stuck it in our savings account while we waited for the shock of his retrenchment to wear off. And that is how we managed to doll out the cash in the space of one week after Ava’s birth, we literally shopped for everything a “normal” couple would shop for over 9 months, we did it in 5 days! It’s also how we were able to afford me being on maternity leave for 5 months. There’d been no time to prepare for this and with hind sight, we realized there was a greater plan at work when Walter was retrenched.

Which brings me back to the present dilemma. So last week, we sat down to sign all our emigration contracts and to pay the initial rather giant wad of money over to the emigration agents. We landed up getting into a huge argument about it and never got around to it. Just as well. Our roofing contractor, who has been trying for almost 6 months to repair our roof called to say that despite their best efforts our roof ridging had once again, for the umpteenth time, cracked open which was causing all the leaks. They sent their most senior expert out to review and have discovered that the bugger building contractor who had done our home extension had not used the correct timber for bracing our roof. This means that each time the wind even blows a little too hard, there is movement in the roof causing the ridging to contentiously crack open! The real shock was how much it’s going to cost to repair. Our roof tiles will have to all be stripped off, the bracing replace and reinforced and then the roof tiles will all be replaced. It was quite a shock to be informed just how much this little exercise is going to cost. All I could hear was the sound of our bank account creaking under the strain.

In the end we decided to not pay the emigration agency just yet, to hold off on that for a little while and get our roof sorted. New Consumer Protection Act aside – we can’t, on good conscience sell our house with the roof in its current condition. We just can’t. And we’re not leaving on a jet plane anywhere any time soon with our house unsold. So we had to carefully prioritize our list of cake eating and the only thing that was flexible was the emigration. Whether we apply to leave now, or we wait till the end of the year will make very little difference in when we will actually leave South Africa for good.

Both Walter and I were feeling really disappointed about having to move out our emigration plans yet again and then on Monday, I received this from The Brave Girls Club:

Dear Trusting Girl,

Sometimes things don’t happen that we desperately want to happen. Sometimes they happen, but after years and years of patience and even not-so-patient waiting.

Sometimes the things we think we want most never, ever happen because they would impede the things that need to happen. Sometimes good things have to be set aside to make room for the best things. Sometimes it takes a lot of years to see those things and where they fall into place in our lives.

Trust the process. Trust the BIG YES that is waiting after rows and rows of hearing the word NO. Trust that things are falling into place exactly as they should. Trust the gifts of learning, of wisdom, and of love that are on the other side of what feels like disappointment. Trust that things are going to work out exactly as they should. And that they already are.

Just trust. Just be.

Life is on your side. It really is.

It reminded me about Walter retrenchment and about how we thought it was the worst thing that could happen at the time but it turned out to be the best thing.

It gave me hope that we are exactly where we are meant to be and that there is a far greater plan at play here. I have always been of the belief that one must not just live on faith alone but that  one should pursue all avenue’s because ultimately our faith and God will guide us on the right avenue’s.

I am hoping, praying, trusting and believing that all of these obstacles for our future plans are being thrown in our path in order to keep us in South Africa just that little bit longer because there is a second baby intended for us?