Mommy’s Little Baby
By LisaMarie Emerle

Mommy’s little baby is not really far away
I’m keeping you in my heart and that’s how it’s gonna stay!
Although you didn’t meet me and look into my eyes
Mommy will be thinking of you when I look up in the skies
And when I feel the sunshine … shining down on me
I will know you’re safe & happy and where you have to be
I have so many questions and there are no answers to find
But don’t think for just a second that you’ll ever leave my mind
You my precious angel made a mommy out of me
But our Father up in Heaven chose to raise you instead of me
God must have so much in store and wonderful plans for you
So I will carry this burden of pain so all your dreams come true!
So don’t you cry any tears my love – be happy and be free
When God decides it’s time….you will meet Daddy and me
You are very special both here and in heaven above
No matter where you are my angel you have Daddy & Mommy’s Love!

W was convinced you were a girl, he even called you Zoe, so you will always be remembered as Zoe. I can’t believe its 6 years since we lost you. I remember feeling at the time that I’d never be able to breathe again, that I’d never smile again.  That I’d never be me again.

Today, the burden, pain and hurt is almost too much to bare. Today, I could almost not lift my head off the pillow so overwhelmed by sadness am I. I can hardly see as my eyes are almost swollen shut and my throat is sore from all the crying. Today the longing in my heart is so over whelming, the pain so unbearable that I would do ANYTHING to make it stop. Its been months since I last had a big fat blubbering session over my infertility, for so long I’ve thought I was ok, but today its just too much, its just too painful. Today, I feel broken by my infertility. Today is one of those days where I wish…………….