A Little Secret

I’ll tell you a little secret but first some back ground information……..

I’m very persuasive (don’t have a successful career in sales for nothing) , I’m very determined and I pretty much always get my own way, especially when it comes to W.ย  There is something I’ve started thinking I really want. Not just for me, but for W and most importantly for Ava too. This idea came into my head a few weeks ago and I’ve been unable to shake it off since, in fact, the more I think about it, the more appealing it becomes, the more it seems like a really good idea. The thing is, W is not keen on my new, wonderful idea. But, I have started using my powers of persuasion on him and I hope to have him not just surrendered to, but totally in love with my idea before the year is out. Its very important we be on the same page by the end of this year, you see, my idea will need to be kicked into action early next year if its to be at all. And its not something I can do with out him.

So what is my wonderful idea?

I want another baby! I want a second child, I want a little sister (very specific I know) for Ava. I want her to grow up with a special sibling close to her. Just about everyone I know that has a same sex sibling has the most unbelievably special bond and relationship and I want that for my little darling.

So, the plan, as it currently stands in my head, is to contact our SW’s early in 2011, update our profile and get back onto the waiting list for another little baby. Except this time I want to be specific, I want a girl, I want Ava to have a little sister,ย  somebody that’s close to her.

In preparation, I’ve done two things, unleashed my powers of persuasion on W. Initially he was all HELL NO! The first 8 weeks were still too fresh in his mind and he couldn’t face having to go through that again. So initially he was very verbal in his disagreement, but as time has gone on, he has become less verbal in his disagreement and now we’re at the point where when I talk about it, he goes: Mmmm. And he has even conceded that I do have some valuable points in my persuasion roster.

Secondly, I have gone to our local plastic warehouse shops and purchased a bunch of those seal-able 90L plastic storage bins. So far I have one completely filled up just with Ava’s new born clothes and all the really small bottles and teets for 0-2 months. I’ve started filling the second one, as she’s systematically outgrowing all her 0-3 month clothing now as well. Initially I was in two minds what to do with all the goodies. I was going to give it to one of my IF sisters because I felt that so much of what was given to Ava was so special because of the spirit in which it was given and I felt it could be a blessing to somebody else. But then I remembered before I had Ava how dead against using anything second hand I was, so I decided against that. Then I thought about donating it all to a baby shelter close to our house. But for now, in light of my desire for another child, I’m going to hang onto all the goodies and see what happens.

Of course, I don’t expect to go from adoption profile to birth in 3 weeks like we did the first time around, I reckon that would just be a little bit too greedy in terms of expecting miracles. Of course, there is also the other alternative, we never get selected again. That too I could live with, if it weren’t part of God’s plan but at least then I’d know we tried and it just wasn’t meant to be. Throughout all the years of infertility, I always maintained that I could/would be happy with just one, and believe me when I say, I totally am. But if another one were a possibility, I’m open to that too.

Edited to add: despite todays date, this is NOT an April fool.

20 Comments

  • Mash

    April 1, 2010 at 8:46 am

    A very clever friend of mine once gave me some advice on changing your man’s mind. She said, plant the seed, and then let them think it’s their idea. It works!

    Reply
  • Bratty

    April 1, 2010 at 9:11 am

    I think that is a marvellous idea…I have two sisters and I love them so much it hurts. My sisters are definitely my best friends. So I give this idea a Big Thumbs up

    Reply
  • Roz

    April 1, 2010 at 10:42 am

    I’ll let you in on my little secret too…I went to visit a friend in hospital yesterday who has just had a baby girl and I want another one too!!! Eeeeccck, Justin nearly fainted when I told him!

    Reply
  • Lauren

    April 1, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    That sounds like a great idea. I am one of four children and am very close to all my siblings. Family gatherings are such loud, fun affairs and of course, those childhood memories are something special. I think that is the thing that gets to me the most about IF. I don’t particularly yearn for a baby (I have been around enough to kinow that they are very very hard work!) but I do long for a family like the one I was brought up in. So good luck to you with your powers of persuasion:-) Hopefully we will be able to follow your on your journey as a mom of two!

    Reply
  • Hela

    April 1, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Go for it! If both you and will are up for it then do it! We’re also ready for number2.
    But as for my babes clothes, they’ll be going to my cousin who’s 20 and pregnant with twins, she’s going to be a single mom with no job…so sad. But we’ll love those little miracles anyhow. (Coz truth is…all babies are miracles)

    By next year I doubt you’ll need to convince W!

    Reply
  • Julia

    April 2, 2010 at 8:02 am

    I think that it is a fabulous idea and I wish you and W all of the best.
    I love that you are going into it with an open mind.
    Pray about it. And just do it already!
    xx

    Reply
  • Kirsty

    April 2, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Being 1 of 4 girls in my family, I can vouch that sister-hood rocks!! But … maybe don’t limit yourself to just a girl. My 3 ( boy,girl,boy) get on famously too x

    Reply
  • Stacey

    April 3, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    !!!!!!!!!!!!
    How exciting! I’m so glad you shared this secret with us. Now I can start praying for your next little one!

    Keep working your mojo on W! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  • Yvonne

    April 5, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    That’s a lovely idea Shaz, I’m excited for you already ๐Ÿ™‚

    I just want to say, as someone that wanted 2 girls for all the same reasons as you mentioned, I had a girl and then a boy (much to my huge shock/worry at the time) but he is the cutest, loveliest bundle of joy I could ever have in my life. And he and my daughter ADORE each other and play like mad.

    Knowing what I know I would think very long and hard before specifically requesting a girl (obviously I know this is a hugely personal decision, am just sharing ๐Ÿ™‚ ), maybe it’d be just another opportunity to place it all in God’s hands? Just as there is undoubtably something very special about having 2 girl / 2 boy babies, there is also something supremely special about being able to experience the blessing of both boys and girls. I wouldn’t change my little man for all the world, I promise you!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    xx

    Reply
  • coachmarcia

    May 13, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    I’m with Yvonne. I always wanted two girls until infertility…….. then I really didn’t care.

    when we found C was a boy, I honestly didn’t know what I’d do with him

    but he is just the cuddliest, most lovable little boy ever. And I don’t know what I’d do WITHOUT him.

    P.S. re the clothes – why don’t you like second hand stuff? (no judgement, just curious)

    Reply

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