A New Day!

So after a lot of thought this week, I’ve decided to try a new approach! 😉

Its actually something that I’ve been thinking about for a while and my thinking has been affirmed by two separate and totally unrelated sources this week. But to fully understand, let me start at the beginning……….

A couple of days after finding out I was pregnant the first time, I was standing in the kitchen at my then office, making Rooibos tea. One of my heavily pregnant co-workers was also making tea and I was excitedly telling her how this was my first pregnancy when she swung around and quite calmly said: “Your first pregnancy? You should be careful then, most women miscarry their first pregnancies!” It felt like somebody had slapped me, hard, in the face. The next day I woke up in a pool of blood and her words rang in my ears, I felt like I’d been cursed. Do you know the irony of the situation? She delivered a healthy baby boy a few months later. Three weeks ago, W and I were standing in Toys R Us shopping for a birthday present for our nephew and a heavily pregnant woman was standing looking at the same goodies as us and lamenting about how expensive it all was, when she turned around, I saw it was the same woman who’d “cursed” my first pregnancy. I also remember as a child and young teenager being terrified of giving birth, it really frightened me and as a result I used to think that I was going to battle to have a baby because I was so afraid of giving birth, I was so terrified of it as a child, I thought I didn’t want children. Great! There I was innocently and unknowingly speaking negative into something I’d so desperately want a few years later!

My point is that people have often said that our words don’t have that much power over our lives or over the lives of the people around us, but I’m really starting to question that theory. The longer I’ve battled infertility, the more KuKd I’ve become, the harder its been to remain optimistic and it seems the less optimistic I become the worse my fertility prognosis gets.

Sam and I had a discussion surrounding positive attitudes on Wednesday on MSN and then on Wednesday evening she popped by my house for a glass of wine and a chat. She was telling me about a discussion she’d had with her Mom & her sister on the weekend, about how Satan takes the negative we speak and manifests it in our lives. It got me thinking about how I always say: “Miracles do happen, they just don’t happen to me!”

Then Louise made the following statement to me at the end of one of her comments this week:

PS Please don’t say miracles don’t happen to you! You end up manifesting what you’re thinking… and I want for you to have that family you so desperately want. Just a thought.

Yet again, there was that statement, that I am manifesting what I’m thinking and saying.

So, after spending quite a bit of time thinking about all of this over the past few days, I’ve made a decision, its going to be tough and its going to take lots of work and lots of effort on my part, but I am going to work very hard at changing my verbal and thought processes about my life. I’m going to start thinking and speaking good into my life believing that the good that I speak and think will manifest themselves.

Then I found this amazing quote and I realized, I’m not a sprinter, I’m much more of a long distance runner. That gave me the courage to keep going despite the disappointments and to try not get so down on myself.

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  • Reply Kirsty Weaver

    I agree with you Sharon. Negative thoughts breed negativity around you. It’s that whole Karma thing again.
    When I was with an ex boyfriend in my late teens and early twenties, he was such a negative person – and he really dragged me down with it. When we split up, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I became the positive person that I am today.
    I was waiting for the right moment to gently say to you that I think you are carrying too much negative energy around with you, but you have seen it for yourself! Well done you!
    So – here are some positive quotes to help you on your way:
    “If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it”
    “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it,
    If you can dream it, you can become it”
    Use visualisation and positive thought – and imagine yourself happy, at peace and with a baby in your arms. xxx

    October 17, 2008 at 8:46 am
  • Reply samcy

    Shaz! This is so true and you can do it – you can do anything that you set your mind to. Like I said we’ll work on it together and keep each other focussed in the postive re-inforcement of our words. Words have power! We need to speak positive over ourselves and our lives – so from now on we say “Miracles do happen to us, we are just still waiting for them…”

    Love ya!

    October 17, 2008 at 8:54 am
  • Reply Marina

    You’re absolutely right Sharon. I know it’s hard, especially since we’re faced with so many disappointments on our journey, but being positive is definitely a step in the right direction! Have a nice weekend, Marina xxx

    October 17, 2008 at 9:25 am
  • Reply Michelle

    Shaz what an amazing and thougth provoking post. Just what we were talking about too and something that many of us have to try to work towards. We will be each others pillars when we need it an I truly wish you all the positive thoughts you can muster. Love you lots my friend

    October 17, 2008 at 9:28 am
  • Reply Maritza

    Shaz, my mom slapped me on the wrist just this weekend for making a negative comment. I think I said: “well, don’t hold your breaths” when discussing me getting pregnant. She immediately told me to stop speaking negativity into our situation. I just mumbled something like, I know, I know…blah, blah…

    Anyhow, I truly believe that negativity should not be your bedmate and that pain needs to be constructively released so that negativity doesn’t seep into our lives and slowly poison our thoughts and ultimately our reality. It is something that has been bothering me a lot about the negative “culture of infertiles”. Yes it’s painful and yes it creates a hell of a lot of anger, but how far it taking it too far? It is somehow fashionable for infertiles to be pessimism incarnated, add a touch of humour and you’re the infertile of the year…anyhow, that’s a whole other story and we all step into that trap sooner or later, some more than others.

    Best of luck with your brave new approach, with you every step of the way. Watching and learning.

    M xxx

    October 17, 2008 at 10:04 am
  • Reply Sian

    I so agree with you. Good luck for you appointment.

    October 17, 2008 at 11:01 am
  • Reply Daryl

    Hi Sharon

    I couldn’t agree with you more. I really don’t want to sound preachy, but it was really only when I started believing that it could happen, and yes, praying on it and allowing others to pray for me, that things finally started to change for me.

    I never dream’t about being pregnant or having a child, and Vicky encouraged me to do a collage of me being pregnant, and all the things I wanted for our baby, and to write a letter to invite a soul into our lives. Well I did all those things and then our luck seemed to change.

    I was just thinking about you while I was walking on the beach this morning, and I pray that the change in attitude will help.


    October 17, 2008 at 12:46 pm
  • Reply Murgdan

    Miracles DO happen, Sharon…and they happen to people JUST like you! I know I’m hoping for your miracle!

    October 17, 2008 at 1:59 pm
  • Reply April

    This post has definitely got me thinking…. We all probably need to try to be a little more positive.

    xoxo, april

    October 17, 2008 at 4:45 pm
  • Reply Stacey

    Thanks for this and congrats on turning over a new leaf! Hoping for the best for you!

    October 17, 2008 at 8:57 pm
  • Reply keystoclaritycoach

    How cool Sharon, obviously not about your result, but about the awareness you’ve created for yourself. We can choose our attitudes to whatever it is we are doing or trying to achieve! There are a couple of movies that have really help me to understand this even more…. ‘What the Bleep @#$% Do We Know’ and Louise Hay’s ‘You can heal your life’ Both very powerful examples showing how the energy we create through our thoughts can be empowering or destructive. See if you can get them, if not, lets see what we can do! I am so proud of you Sharon, you show such strength and courage.
    lovingly, Coach Louise

    October 18, 2008 at 5:52 am
  • Reply charne

    Hey sharon it is so true that we must hold on to positive thoughts even though it can be so hard to do. It is so very easy to say negative things on this journey. I do it often and in a way its just me preparing myself with the worst. Its at some points easier to do that than get your hopes up and get hurt. But life is often not easy. We need to remember that God really does love us and really wants the best for us and we need to remember that satan does want to steal our joy and get us to doubt our Father! Hang onto your faith and pray for guidance and strength. Speak positive about your life and always remember God wants the best for us! If we have asked Him For something we need to believe He will provide it. But also remember it will be in His time, and that is the hard part!

    As to why you have experienced so much pain in the past i cannot answer that but just feel we need to find rest in knowing God has a perfect plan for your life

    I have no doubt that your honesty and openness on your blog will help many women facing there same issues

    Thinking of you

    October 18, 2008 at 7:23 am
  • Reply C

    This is so true, not sure if you read The Secret but that also opened my eyes to postive thoughts. I know it’s hard to be positive when you are in the middle of all this IF nonsense, I am guilty of it too but I am working on it. What helps me too is to keep a greatful journal as soon as you feel the negativity starting then read through it & see how many things we can be thankful for & postive about. It also helps to surround yourself with people who are positive, their postiivity rubs off on one and make your environment positive too. I have found that not listening to the news when I feel a bad day coming on helps me too. Good Luck! Here’s to us & positivity & success & happiness in every aspect of our lives.

    October 18, 2008 at 9:14 am
  • Reply Zay

    Hi.interesting topic.In my belief we believe nothing happens except by the will of God but at the same time God treats us as we expect Him to treat us and that a prayer is only accepted and answered based on faith and conviction that it wil be answered.So all in all just a different label to the whole positive thinking approach but putting the Power where it belongs in the Hands of The Almighty.z

    October 19, 2008 at 9:41 am
  • Reply Mandy

    Awesome positive post, very true…good luck!

    October 27, 2008 at 8:54 pm
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