All I Want For Christmas Is…..


All I want for Christmas is a baby!

Yup, you guessed it, my Christmas pressie to myself from myself and my hubbie and too my hubbie from himself and from me is……….. IVF!

And its really becoming a grudge purchase now. I’m so bummed that yet again, we’re spending another lean Christmas, counting pennies, scraping cents and watching our spending because, as was the case for the last 4 years, we’re saving for Fertility treatment in the new year. And I can really see its starting to take its toll on W as well. Every year, we start out the year thinking about what we’re going to do with our bonuses and every year we land up doing the same thing, spending it on treatment. No lavish Christmas presents, no expensive holidays, just watching the money going into our savings account.  The worst part is that I’m totally unmotivated to save at the moment as well, last month I set aside R5 000 for our IVF savings kitty and then landed up spending it on all kinds of crap. So we officially have……….. R0 saved for our IVF which was originally planned for January.

We had a long discussion about it last night and have decided to push out our IVF till March next year, for a bunch of reasons. Firstly, because we need to save the R35K first, with our bonuses and other savings, we’ll have enough money saved by mid January. Secondly, everybody in the entire world seems to be planning an IVF in January, this means that the clinic will be stretched to the limit and there will be long waiting periods for scans and medication dispensing and to be honest, I just don’t have the patience for that. I know I’m going to battle serious left behind syndrome come January, when every one starts there treatment and we don’t, but I just don’t feel like the timing would be right for me. Thirdly, I’d really like to enjoy Christmas with my family. For the last few years, I’ve spend the festive season not partaking in any of the over indulgences because I was watching my diet and alcohol intake in prep for IVF. This year, I really want to let my hair down, I want to enjoy the food, wine and festivities without feeling guilty about possibly doing something that could jeopardize my up coming IVF.

Lastly, and some of you will probably think I’m completley nuts, but lastly, I want to push out my IVF because I’m still hoping and believing in a miracle pregnancy with no medical intervention. I know I know, I’m completley nuts, we’ve been trying naturally since April this year and so far nothing has happened, its never taken this long to fall pregnant naturally before, I’m 36 years old, my natural fertility has taken a nose dive in the past year or so, so there’s no reason to believe it will happen by itself, but somehow, some part of me is still believing………..


  • charne

    November 26, 2008 at 10:32 am

    seeing that photo of the baby with a ribbon and a tag saying FROM GOD, gave my goose bumps!!

    I really understand why u only want to do ivf again in march, nothing worse than been at a busy clinic, it tests my patience and always made me feel like a number…

    but i love you other reason, i love the fact that you are still believing in miracles and love it that you have faith that God will bless u and W…

    big hug

  • Danielle

    November 26, 2008 at 10:39 am

    I love your attitude! I agree with you and your decisions. You have a plan but in the mean time…why not hope for your miracle? I’ll say a prayer for you and your husband to receive your miracle.
    -D *ICLW*

  • Elize

    November 26, 2008 at 10:44 am

    I’m with you on the miracle baby! I hope and pray that it happens and you don’t have to go for IVF. Your reasoning makes sense to me about waiting for March when the rush will hopefully be over. Enjoy every moment of this festive season!

  • Lesley

    November 26, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Good on you for listening to your inner voice and not just charging ahead. By delaying the IVF you’ve given yourself the gift of a less stressful and happier festive season with W and your family ~ a present in itself!

  • Michelle

    November 26, 2008 at 11:23 am

    I think its a brilliant idea Shaz. Now you can enjoy a stress free holiday and have fun. You might just get your miracle Christmas baby. Besides – everyone wants to feel like they the only patient with the FS and I was worried that if you went in January, along with everyone else you would not get that extra special attention that you need and want. Good call. XXXXXXxx

  • Murgdan

    November 26, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Hey…who can fault you for having hope? …and you can always push your IVF out till May with me! 🙂 Sounds like a good plan for Christmas–though I know how hard it is to sock the money away…of course it’s my first time actually saving up a large chunk of cash–and it is coming along easier than I thought it would be….

  • Abbey

    November 26, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    I’m with you on the whole ‘enjoying Xmas’ idea. My 3rd ivf just got semi cancelled because my lining is thinner than ever before! I have to freeze all my embryos and forgo any transfer. Then hope for a thick lining in the new year to do a FET. Basically I just spent R30 000 and got jack sh*t back in return…..I feel so drained…emotionally, physically and financially. I need this Xmas break so badly to regroup and build my strenght to carry on. I think you’ve made a good call on moving your ivf to March. January sounds like a busy month for the clinics and you need to feel special, not like a number. Man how I hate feeling like a number when it’s my whole life and soul on the line here. I really know how your’e feeling when you say you know you’re going to feel left out when everyone is doing ivf in Januray! I’ll be in your corner too Shaz. But we’ll stay strong and keep fighting!

    X Abbey

  • Sassy

    November 26, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    I don’t think your nuts. I think in some ways there will always be a part of us convinced that it could happen. As long as trying naturally isn’t going to interrupt your Christmas time indulgence I say go for it. Give yourself a break, enjoy it, March will come around soon enough.

  • Erin

    November 26, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Here from ICLW! Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and best of luck saving for IVF. I have to say each year my bonus always goes for unfun things. I would love to spend it on a great vacation but alas things need to get done.

    All the best!

  • Shawna

    November 26, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    I don’t think you are nuts for believing in miracles. it very well could happen. Stranger things have. :o)

    I hope that you can kick back and enjoy the holidays. Bring on the appetizers and the booze!

  • Coach Louise

    November 26, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    Such an adorable picture Sharon. I can understand how you would want to push out IVF until March, it makes sense to avoid the rush in Jan (we’re now doing ours in Feb) and support yourselves financially. And to have hope for something that might happen even naturally is natural – especially if you have had success before. We are also trying the natural route, hoping the same as you re. Xmas pressie, even tho’ we are still planning the IVF for Feb. Without hope, what do we have!? Enjoy the silly season! take care of yourself.

  • KandiB

    November 26, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    Enjoy this time off! No worrying for four whole months (which is awesome!) No medicine, no waiting, worrying, wondering. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas – indulge yourself! ICLW

  • Rebecca

    November 26, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    It’s not a bad thing to hope for a miracle. My first baby was conceived after three IVFs then when she was about 9 months old I conceived naturally. Unfortunately, it ended in a miscarriage but it was an amazing thing. I never thought I’d conceive naturally. After the miscarriage we decided to go the IVF route for our next child and now I’m pregnant with twins. Good luck with your next IVF!


  • elmojessi

    November 27, 2008 at 1:41 am

    I think pushing your IVF cycle out until you are able to give it your full attention and best effort is a GREAT idea! Stressing about waiting for your turn with the dildocam is certainly not beneficial. I hope you are able to get the money saved up and on the schedule for March!


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