I don’t know if anyone has even noticed. But it’s been really quiet around these parts lately. I won’t lie, I’ve been struggling to find my voice and to share my words over the last few months and as a result, my blog just got quieter and quieter. I think I’ve finally figured out why.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I’ve been feeling so inadequate in my blogging space over the past few months. As the playing field gets more and more saturated with bloggers and influencers, I have found myself trapped behind a self-inflicted gag order and feeling very lost in the noise.
Am I enough.
That’s been my biggest struggle. As a more… mmm. mature parenting blogger, I often find myself asking, am I enough? Am I young enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Is what I have good enough to share? Is my photography enough, as the blogging arena moves into a far more visual form of media. I’ve just found myself engaging in this space online and finding myself falling short, just not feeling like I am enough.
I watched the most fabulous documentary on Netflix – Follow Me and it simultaneously blew my mind and gave me a whole new perspective.
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Why don’t you Netflix,Chill and Follow me… . . . . . #VeniVidiVici #Followme #Netlifx #worldwide #documentary #film #socialmediainfluencer Special thanks to @philipalberstat @jamal #AnneKangSim @lyassin.c #KhaledBadr @moezachour2 and all the people who gave me their time to make this film…. (Bitcoin in Process).
If you’re a social media user, especially Instagram, you need to watch this documentary. One of the most fascinating things I took from the documentary is how Instagram, unintentionally, but by its very design, will make people feel not enough. And that’s when I realized that’s why I’ve been struggling for so long. And why I’ve felt silenced by the noise online.
It was never about being enough, it was about being authentic.
But for the longest time, I allowed myself to be silenced because I felt I my voice and my message was lost in the ocean of overly curated, inauthentic content, presented as real life. And I had an epiphany. That shit is not real! It does nothing but create great imagery and content for brands but in the process, it makes real followers, real people, feel shit about themselves and their lives. And I never want anyone to ever feel shit or lacking about their life because of what I shared.
Yesterday, we had Ava’s birthday party. Party being used loosely, there was a cake and the kids spent 6 hours in the pool. There was nothing fancy, nothing Pinterest or Instagram worthy about the party and I shared that message on my grid:
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WE HAD A PARTY… . . . And it wasn’t Pinterest worthy or curated, aside from a balloon & a cake you probably wouldn’t even have known it was a party, certainly not by the overly curated, OTT parties of today’s social media standards & you know what? I’m more than ok with that. The kids has a blast & after about four hours of solid playing in the pool, everyone will pass out early tonight after a fun filled day!
Why I started blogging…
Was to feel less alone, instead, I feel more lonely online. To feel heard. To find a tribe of like-minded women online. And yet, over the past few months, I have felt alone online, drowned out by fake accounts and overly curated fantasy lives online.
I’ve seen so many people argue over the hashtag #realmom saying that if you are a mom, you are a #realmom, well I’m here to say that after months of feeling silenced and not enough, I have finally come to the conclusion, that actually, when it comes to what is shared online, not all of us are #realmoms
But I am and there are thousands of us who are and I am looking for you and wanting to connect with you. I want to have real conversations and share real life with you, not just pretty pictures.