This time, in exactly one month, we will be having our second assessment with our SW for our second adoption application and I am experiencing a totally mixed bag of emotions.

I am very excited! And very very dreamy. Have been playing with baby name idea’s, Walter and I have been bouncing names off each other. I’ve done a mental checklist of what I have saved for baby no. 2 – bottles, blankets, we’ve checked our travel system to make sure all is still in good nick for a second baby. We’ve tossed around some idea’s on how to rearrange our house so that we can fit a second baby in, without loosing our study and guest bedroom as we’re not ready to sell with our plans to emigrate still in the beginning phase. I get all mushy and broody when I think about tiny babies, pink feet, little snuggly sounds. I find myself day dreaming about what could lie ahead. Perhaps our second child has been conceived already. Will we be so blessed as to have another short wait? Will we be joining team pink for a second time, or perhaps getting to experience team blue for the first time? Which would we prefer? Do we have a preference?

And then another part of me wonders if we’re completely insane? How will we cope with a second child? What will the impact be on us financially? Will we have to amend are very comfortable lifestyle to fit in a second child? We barely survived one newborn, how will we cope going through it a second time? I have a friend whose a mom to twins, she maintains that having two babies a year or two apart is harder than having twins, she says at least with her twins, while it was a ton of work, she was doing the same thing for 2 babies, not 2 different things for 2 different babies. What happens if its a short wait and we have one child under 2 & a new born? How will I cope physically? I already find one baby exhausting. How will I manage with two bums that need cleaning, with a toddler running all over the place and a new-born? What if we have another short wait?

Raising Ava has gotten… dare I say it… so easy in the last few months. Or perhaps we’ve relaxed more. But she eats when she should eat and if she doesn’t want to we leave her, I’m over stressing about that. She naps well during the day with no fussing, no crying, no tantrums. She goes to bed at 7pm, and unless she’s sick, she sleeps until 7am, sometimes later. She’s happy to play with us or to play by herself.Β  She’s calm, settled and content. We are, all 3 of us, so comfortable with our lives. We have reached that place where Walter and I can go out without her and leave her with Loveness. We have time to go to gym, and I got to Pilates. We get time alone with our friends. I get to go for regular pedi’s and other treats.

Do we really want to turn our lives upside down by having another baby?

The short answer is …. NO!

Do we really want a second baby???

The short answer is … YES!

I keep telling myself that millions of families around the world cope, under far worse circumstances than ours, so I’m quite confident that we’ll manage the second time around as well.