Beta Beat Up!

This is all completely surreal. I wonder when it will start to sink in? Its been 3 years since I was last pregnant, I was 34 years old. Its weird, even my beta points are almost exactly the same as they were back then.

My first thought after receiving the news about my positive beta test was to start panicking about my beta count because I felt it was a tad bit on the low side. Initially my clinic didn’t want to give it to me, they just kept assuring me that it was perfect and within normal range for where I’m at in my cycle. But after a lot of nagging they eventually relented. So I went and checked out Beta Base and it would appear they’re right. For where I’m at – 12dpo – I’m smack in the middle of normal range!

Given my history, its extremely difficult to sit back and enjoy the ride, but I’m going to try my very best to do that. For now, I’m trying to just live in the moment, as hard as that is. For now, I’m trying to let the words “I am pregnant” sink in and I’m trying to bask in the joy of what that is supposed to mean.

I will worry about doubling beta’s on Tuesday. I’m going to work hard at being “normal” and try not to let myself spiral downwards into a cesspool of fear and what if’s.

P.S To the literally hundres of emails and messages and sms’s and twitter messages I received yesterday, thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Your love and support is so appreciated, I’m so touched by everyone’s responses. I will respond to everyone as soon as I get the chance!

I’ve had a couple of questions re. how I was 12dpo & 9dp5trf, so I’ve included a picture of my chart as an explanation:

myFETchart

If you read the chart as follows:

CM – actually shows the day I had the bit of spotting, day 20 of my cycle, 2dp5trf and 5dpo.

Then you’ll see my first HPT’s started showing + at 7dpo or 4dp5trf.

Hence my very early blood test was done at 12dpo and 9dp5trf.

Hope that helps makes sense of it???

24 Comments

  • monica lemoine

    October 9, 2009 at 6:38 am

    THIS IS AWESOME Shaz! Congrats, girlfriend! I like your “taking it day by day” approach combined with undertones of excitement. I’m trying to master that art myself. Fingers crossed for you – this is great news!

    Reply
  • Stacey

    October 9, 2009 at 7:15 am

    YES!!!! This is fantastic news! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I was just thinking the other day how awesome it would be to hear this news from you. 🙂

    Reply
  • Esperanza

    October 9, 2009 at 7:29 am

    I’m in exactly the same place you are. DPO14 and hoping like hell I’m not having another ectopic. Surprisingly my obgyn decided I didn’t need to get beta’s and I’m kind of glad, as the wait always killed me. So I’m trying to ride it out, blissfully ignorant of what may or may not be happening. The reality is, my betas doubled until the day before I was in the ED realizing I had an ectopic, so they won’t put my mind at ease anyway. I know how hard the waiting and wondering is. Good luck!

    Reply
  • sassy

    October 9, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Again, sweetie, I am so happy for you. Again, congratulations. I know you deserve this, and I am going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a wonderful, smooth, beautiful pregnancy and a healthy baby.

    Reply
  • Cruella Deville

    October 9, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    Whooooooohooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO SO SO happy for you Sharon!!!!! Congratulations on your pregnancy, may you have the healthiest, happiest pregnancy ever. I can`t tell you how excited I was when I read your previous posts. I`m praying hard that in 8 months time we will see photos of your LO (`s) right here on this blog. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
    xxxx

    Reply
  • Misty

    October 9, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    This is awesome. So much happy thoughts and congrads coming your way! See, told u it was implantation bleeding! This is your time, Shaz. This one’s going to stick. Congratulations 🙂

    Reply
  • Kait

    October 9, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Sharon, Answering your question, I guess she figures if it’s not viable I’ll miscarry and I’ll know that I’m miscarrying. Part of me wants to ask for at least one beta, but I really don’t think it’s going to put my mind at ease. I had already started cramping and bleeding pretty bad last time, and my last beta came back doubled and it brought me so much more hope than I would have had. And yet that day (that I got the result) I ended up in the ER for 12 hours, eventually getting an MVA to determine I had an ectopic and MTX shots to resolve it. So I feel like the beta’s aren’t really going to tell me anything ahead of time anyway, so I don’t feel I really need them. Plus, I have a lot of anxiety issues, and waiting 24 hours to get a call with the result kills me. I do have an appointment at 6 weeks (if I make it to then without spotting) to determine that the pregnancy is in the right place. These two weeks are going to be brutal. Actually, it’s the second week that will be brutal, because that is the week (week 5) when I started bleeding last time. I’ll be waiting for it every day.

    Reply
  • Quiet Dreams

    October 9, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Congratulations…I’m so happy for you.

    I was reading you over at your old address, but I didn’t make the switch over for some reason. I saw the announcement on LFCA, and wanted to let you know how happy I am for you. Also want to let you know, that I had to switch blogs as well (for privacy reasons). (I used to be b.ecomin.g who.le, but that blog is no more.)

    So I am putting your new blog on my reader, and will be catching up as soon as I can.

    I am really brimming with joy for you–you are such a beautiful person and it really overflows into your writing.

    Reply
  • Yvonne

    October 9, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    OMW OMW OMW!!!
    I’m so, so, so blerrie happy for you, congrats!
    That’s wonderful news.
    I really wish a very sticky, easy pregnancy for you 🙂
    xx

    Reply
  • jan

    October 10, 2009 at 12:39 am

    OMG! OMG!OMG!!!!!!! Im so freakin excited for you !! I just burst into tears at your news!! thinknig and praying for you my friend!!! wooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Reply

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