This is all completely surreal. I wonder when it will start to sink in? Its been 3 years since I was last pregnant, I was 34 years old. Its weird, even my beta points are almost exactly the same as they were back then.

My first thought after receiving the news about my positive beta test was to start panicking about my beta count because I felt it was a tad bit on the low side. Initially my clinic didn’t want to give it to me, they just kept assuring me that it was perfect and within normal range for where I’m at in my cycle. But after a lot of nagging they eventually relented. So I went and checked out Beta Base and it would appear they’re right. For where I’m at – 12dpo – I’m smack in the middle of normal range!

Given my history, its extremely difficult to sit back and enjoy the ride, but I’m going to try my very best to do that. For now, I’m trying to just live in the moment, as hard as that is. For now, I’m trying to let the words “I am pregnant” sink in and I’m trying to bask in the joy of what that is supposed to mean.

I will worry about doubling beta’s on Tuesday. I’m going to work hard at being “normal” and try not to let myself spiral downwards into a cesspool of fear and what if’s.

P.S To the literally hundres of emails and messages and sms’s and twitter messages I received yesterday, thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Your love and support is so appreciated, I’m so touched by everyone’s responses. I will respond to everyone as soon as I get the chance!

I’ve had a couple of questions re. how I was 12dpo & 9dp5trf, so I’ve included a picture of my chart as an explanation:

myFETchart

If you read the chart as follows:

CM – actually shows the day I had the bit of spotting, day 20 of my cycle, 2dp5trf and 5dpo.

Then you’ll see my first HPT’s started showing + at 7dpo or 4dp5trf.

Hence my very early blood test was done at 12dpo and 9dp5trf.

Hope that helps makes sense of it???