Chosen Children

My cousin, who’s adopted, sent me this poem the day she heard that we’d decided to pursue adoption. We included it in our profile and I think it speaks volumes of the legacy of an adopted child.

~Legacy of an Adopted Child~

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love.
The second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide.
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me, through your tears,
the age-old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of Love.

Author Unknown

To all my friends who have adopted… don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not a “real mommmy”.  Its been my experience that mothers come in different shapes and forms and just because somebody can make a baby does not mean that they are automatically a mother. Just like a woman who makes the painful decision to give up her baby for adoption is any less of a mother than those of us who have adopt as our alternative to motherhood.

Mother = love and love comes in different shapes and forms.

I read on an adoption website that adopted children should be called “chosen children” and I loved that. How beautiful and how true for our very special, chosen children!

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  • Reply lea2109

    What a beautiful poem!

    July 22, 2010 at 6:27 am
  • Reply little29

    Such beautiful and true words – gave me goosebumps….

    July 22, 2010 at 9:39 am
  • Reply thebsdiaries

    This just made me cry. Thanks Shaz!

    July 22, 2010 at 10:22 am
  • Reply thebsdiaries

    Can I just say that I have been reading all the negative stuff flying around. And as a married woman, betrayed by her husband, trying to find a way to fix that – at 37 years old to find myself unexpectedly pregnant – I – for the first time in my life – could understand how overwhelmed BM’s must feel and how giving your child to somebody who can adore it as it should be is a very real and beautiful option. I CAN look after my child, I CAN keep it, I CAN provide for it but whether or not I have the emotional capacity right now to love it as I should, whether or not I can give it a stable, loving environment going forward with a mom and dad or at least a sane mom who doesn’t cry every day – that I am not so sure of. For the first time I felt what it felt like to feel ashamed at being pregnant, knocked up like some dumb 16 year old. Too ashamed to tell anyone that we are expecting because the world out there expects you to be happy about it and no words in the world can explain how complex and how difficult that happiness is sometimes.

    July 22, 2010 at 10:27 am
  • Reply pandoragelb

    Thank you, Sharon.

    July 22, 2010 at 7:03 pm
  • Reply Nisey

    such a lovely lovely poem.

    July 23, 2010 at 8:29 am
  • Reply orbit365

    Beautiful poem. And yes, they are chosen children. Of this I have absolutely no doubt..x

    July 23, 2010 at 9:04 pm
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