Coming Undone…

Juggling Act

With all the public holidays & all my sick leave, I have been at work 3 days in the past 3 weeks… The result? One over wrought, over worked, stressed out, deactivated, anxious, depressed, high-strung, irritated, grumpy me!

I’ve been going through a really tough time professionally over the past couple of months, having lost my 2 most important buyers on my 2 largest accounts in the same month. Add to that the very unproductive 3 weeks and I feel like I’m in a hole so deep I don’t know how to claw my way out.

Something’s got to give. I jut don’t know what. I go to Pilates at 5am, for crying in a bucket, because I have NO time. Work is so hectic that despite my “reduced” office hours, I’m having to put in loads of extra time outside of work. I have no time for ME! I haven’t been able to give myself a wax or dye my roots in weeks! I’m exhausted ALL the time. And to be honest, I think I’m a little depressed – a clue would be the floods of tears I’ve been in the past few days.

It doesn’t really help that I have a husband that:

  1. Works in an environment that is ALL consuming! It’s not like I can ask him to pop home early or see to something around the house if I need to stay late. The simple fact is he can’t.
  2. Is studying for his Masters Degree – nuff said!

Of course, I would love to chuck it all in, be a stay at home mom. But the truth is, I won’t survive as a stay at home mom firstly and secondly, I earn a really good salary, I could never expect Walter to absorb my earnings into his salary, it’s simply impossible.

So for now, I try to suck it all up. I try to wear the million caps – wife, mother, account manager, employee, chef, home maker etc etc. You know that expression: Jack of all trades and a master of none? That’s how I feel at the moment. I’m trying to do so much, I have so much on my plate, but I’m so stretched to breaking that I can’t really do anything well – and that makes me miserable!

I just don’t know how much longer I can effectively keep all these balls I’m juggling up in the air!

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  • Reply To Love Bella

    While I don’t have as stressful a job as yours, I can relate on some levels. When it gets bad – we order supper from a catering company. Isabella’s food is made in advance and simply needs to be thawed. This in itself has managed to free up quite alot of my evening time. And the meals are alot better than takeaways.
    Good luck, Sharon. xxxxx

    May 11, 2011 at 6:40 am
  • Reply waiting4amiracle

    I think these public holidays have really messed with our rhythm. Maybe a few precooked meals would help a bit. Shame I know, it can be dam infuriating!

    May 11, 2011 at 8:20 am
  • Reply mayflowerladybugs

    I have been feeling the same for a while now Sharon, and add to the work stuff all the kids’ various activities and it really becomes too much. Similarly I see no other options at present though.

    May 11, 2011 at 8:42 am
  • Reply elna3

    It is tough, very tough especially if you can’t count on your husband at the moment for some help.
    Have you verbalized your feelings to your boss? A lot of the time I make things way worse in my head and just by speaking to my boss about it puts it a bit more in perspective again and in a way it feels like someone else is carrying a little bit of the burden too. The support helps too. Maybe use a Saturday and try and get some of the backlog sorted. Hang in there….

    May 11, 2011 at 9:48 am
  • Reply suestuart

    I’m so sorry to hear that, shame Sharon. I agree with the others about the meals, although it certainly doesn’t solve the problem at least having some ready meals might take away the stress of thinking about what to cook on particularly stressful days. I usually have a couple of Woolies or Chef Direct meals in the freezer for such days, and although the portion sizes aren’t huge they’re yummy with some crusty french bread or a nice salad. You could even keep a few woolies ciabattas or something similar in the freezer. And when I do a good old spag bol, or a goulash etc, I make double and freeze one.

    I hope that your Roxette weekend will revive your batteries somewhat, try and forget about home and work while you’re there and just unwind.

    May 11, 2011 at 10:37 am
  • Reply trishdg

    Oh Sharon I feel your pain. Add in another child and I could have written this myself – down to the “reduced hrs” full time job/busy MBA hubby and me being sick. No idea what the solution is. I am going on a weeks holiday in a few days time with the family and although I hope this will make me feel better I have this sick feeling that with all the prep for the holiday – packing/passports/mani,pedi,hair appts etc and the thought of being away for a week with work piling up is is making it worse. I have no idea – I already do the Woolies meals/ take aways / catered food in the freezer and am skipping excercise (bad I know)but somehow I still run out of time. I am really stressed out so I know how you feel. Hang in there and knowing others are feeling the same way makes me feel a bit better and less of a failure.Hang in there.

    May 11, 2011 at 11:21 am
  • Reply Mash

    My experience with “something’s got to give” is that yes, something’s got to give!!! The more we believe that nothing in our lives can change and it has to carry on in a way that isn’t working… well, the more we get of that. Think Landmark. Think out of the box, look at possibilities you didn’t even think were possible. You may not have to lose out in any area!

    May 11, 2011 at 11:49 am
  • Reply tzipieastwest

    That is not a nice place to be in at all. Very frustrating and nervewrecking. I think you know very well how to manage your private/household/mother roles, so maybe it is the professional aspect that needs special attention now.
    I would suggest:
    1) prioritizing;
    2) one thing at the time;
    3) delegate.

    Hope things come under control soon !! Be strong,

    May 12, 2011 at 9:46 am
  • Reply orbit365

    So sorry that you have been having a rough time. I do hope that this “coming undone” period will pass soon.

    My advice? Contact Marcia for a couple of sessions. Best money you will ever spend.x

    May 18, 2011 at 4:17 pm
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