It’s day 2 of my return to work and it hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped.

It all started yesterday morning when we woke up and Ava had the glassy eyed, flushed cheek look of a child with a fever. After making the call to keep her at home yesterday, I informed Loveness that she would have to look after both children and I could see the look of fear in her eyes when I left her yesterday morning.

Just as I left the office yesterday afternoon I received a message from Loveness saying she was really sick and I needed to hurry home. I got home to find her shivering, out of breath and doubled over in pain. Just a bit of back ground, Loveness has been having problems with her stomach over the past two months, I am quite concerned as she has missed about two weeks in total of work over this recurring stomach issue. Each time she visits her Dr, he says she’s constipated and sends her away with a laxative. She’s even been to Jo’burg Gen where they also pretty much ignored her excruciating pain and sent her away after a round of blood tests with some laxatives. Laxatives are not solving this problem and I am hugely concerned that there is something more sinister at play here and that her Dr’s are just not taking it seriously. Her health aside, it puts me in a very tough spot. There are a thousand reasons why we chose a nanny over day care, and the only draw back to our choice is that when Loveness is sick, we need to take time off work. It hasn’t been an issue till now. But with the deterioration in her health, its become a real issue and one I dread having to face.

So back to yesterday, I raced home, finished her work which she was too sick to do and got everyone bathed and fed and into bed. Que Hannah having a total melt down each time I left her room. She’s lie quietly in her cot and as soon as I walked out, she’d start crying, I’m pretty sure this is part of an adjustment phase for her too so we had to do some rocking and patting to get her to sleep last night.

Ava refused to eat and after begging her and pleading with her, we managed to get her to eat a slice of cheese before sending her off to bed with some Nurofen syrup for her fever and cough syrup for her bad cough.

Que midnight when we were awoken by blood curdling screams and when racing into Ava’s room, finding her sitting on her bed, glassy eyed and flushed and screaming in between bouts of projectile vomit.

We somehow made it to sunrise, at one point, we were 6 in the bed, a cat, 2 dogs, Walter and I and a very sick child. We got up for juice, we got up and administered suppositories in an attempt to get her fever down. We sat in the lounge and watched TV when she was having a melt down. We got almost no sleep last night and then the cherry on the top? The bloody cat decided he had to hock up a hairball for about an hour at 5am!

Today is a bloody disaster, whatever Ava has, I think I’m getting it, I body pain, even shooting pains in my fingers for goodness sakes. Loveness is not back so Walter has had to take a days leave to care for our children because I can’t very well, one day after arriving back from maternity leave, take additional leave.

I’m sick, tired and frustrated with the situation and worst of all, I’m riddled with guilt. Guilt that I should be there with my sick child, all she wants is her Mama and leaving her this morning made me feel like shit!

Here’s hoping that this week improves, because ja, my first two days back at work have not exactly been how I’d hoped they’d be!