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Dear Unicorn Moms, I Used To Be Like You, Now I Just Think You’re Stupid

A Unicorn Mom, by definition, according to Urban Dictionary, is a mother who’s not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humor and couldn’t care less what you think.

She sounds pretty cool

And it’s all fun & games till someone lands up an alcoholic in rehab. Then…. not so much! 

I recently read this article: Sorry Helicopter Parents, You’re Out. This Year, It’s All About the Unicorn Mums

And I feel like this is just another example of how we glamorize drinking and alcoholism in women. 

I’m going to rock the boat and say – Unicorn Moms…. you don’t rock! 

Up until recently, I probably would have proudly called myself a Unicorn Mom. But my eyes have been opened and I now realize that being a Unicorn Mom did not make me fun or cool, it simply made me stupid. 

I am an Ordinary Mom (something I’m emotionally intelligent enough to realize actually makes me pretty extraordinary) and as a reformed Unicorn Mom, I can tell you, the only real difference is that I give zero *&^%S without needing a “cold beverage”! I don’t need to be drunk or “enjoying a cold beverage” to not care what you or anyone else thinks. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy a “cold beverage” but I’ve wised up and am learning to cope with my role and responsibility without a crutch as destructive as a “cold beverage”. 

I’m armed too.. I don’t need a mythical horn!

I’m armed with a big heart, sharp wit, and a quick tongue. I also have a fist and I’m not afraid to use it, so don’t try messing with me or my kids. I’m fierce AF and I don’t need a horn to prove it. Nor do I need a head full of washed out “rainbow” hair to prove that I have style or class or I’m hip or I’m cool. In fact, I don’t need to prove anything because I’m an ordinary mom, which, like I said, makes me pretty extraordinary because I don’t need to subscribe to anyone’s standards but my own. Now that’s fierce. And fabulous!

I don’t believe in magic but I make magic daily.

I don’t have a mythical horn growing out my head, no thanks, but I can still create magic in the lives of my children every day. Because I care and I’m there and I’m present.

I’m so over stupid parenting labels that separate mothers into us and them. Who’s cooler, who’s wiser, whose better?And I’m definitely so over the wine culture and cool moms. 

Who actually even cares? 

14 Comments

  • Ursula Kruis

    Ursula Kruis

    April 6, 2018 at 11:24 am

    It seems that its the alcohol thing that isbthe problem? Well im a super proud unicorn mom, i dye my hair blue and purple, pink and green. I dress in crop tops and all stars, i wear funky jewelery, sometimes to much make up, but most of the time no make up at all. I cut my own hair in my bathroom at night, with my daughters school scissors, yes sometimes its skew, but i really dont care, i go barefoot to malls and it kiddies meals at wimpy so my daughter can get extra toys. I read! And read and read! I dont own a phone, im adicted to doritos, at school im the loud mom! I cheer for my kids, their friends and even the random little girl who is dead last in the race! I stand up for my kids, to teachers, moms, and other kids. I stand out 100% i will never fit in. But i love my kids and im loud about that to! Im creative! I make birthday cakes, party invites, hair bows, decorate shoes and bags. I scrapbook, i paint, any thing creative my daughter ever wants, she will get! And….. i dont drink…..

    Reply
  • Gillian Hattingh

    April 6, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    Could no agree with you more.

    Why do mom’s need labels? It’s seems like it just one more thing to be judged on by other moms.
    Why can’t we all just be “Moms”??

    if you look at all the labels you will probably realise you have a little bit of every type of mom in you.

    1. Worry about Rugs doing well at school and her social well being – Yup I am a “Helicopter Mom”
    2. Coloured hair, definitely not perfect, enjoys a glass of wine, sweary, wicked sense of humour – Oh look I am a “Unicorn Mom” too
    3. Assists school with fundraising, whatsapp groups (please don’t judge :P) and knows half the teachers – Gosh darn it i am a “PTA Mom” as well

    If you give me another mom label I can probably say i do that too…

    All i want to be is a mom, and i don’t have time to worry if i fit in or not.

    Can I be an #OrdinaryMom??

    Reply
  • Lee-Ann Dobson

    Lee-Ann Dobson

    April 6, 2018 at 11:40 pm

    Kind of spoils the unicorn trend. I am just a mom finish. My friend was a mom yesterday to 2 beautiful girls. She woke up and later dropped down dead. Enjoy your kids, spend time with them love them more. You never know when it will be the last time your kids see you. Who cares if you a unicorn’s rear end mom you a mom and that’s all that matters.

    Reply
  • stephanie videira

    April 7, 2018 at 9:58 pm

    love this post, also tired off the different names we give mom’s, just be a a present mom in ur kids life ( making time for them ) love them and make sure they know it 🙂

    Reply
  • Kim Daniel

    May 10, 2018 at 7:37 pm

    Thank u and an amen! I just read the stupidest post front people magazine on Kylie Jenner being a cool mom. And I’m thinking who cares if “you” a magazine deem her cool just let her be a mom and leave her alone with the labeling and the constant comparisons. As a SHM, the article on her cane up in my “news” recs for Apple and I’m thinking boy do they have my profile wrong as I don’t give a da$n about KJ or being a cool mom. I care about being a good mom and only what that means to me. There remains a few universal things that make one a good parent but for the most part parents must do what is best for their family and rear our children the best we can without giving care to what society tells us to be. Thrilled tho to have discovered your blog just recently and looking forward to catching up on posts as well as future ones! Best regards!

    Reply

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