For a few months now, Walter and I have been going backwards and forwards about whether or not adding to our family is really something we want to do. The older Ava gets, the more independent she becomes the easier parenting her has become. No more nappies, no more pajama drill, she feeds herself, chooses her own clothes and dresses herself and it more than happy to play by herself without the constant need for one of us to play with her, life has changed so much from the time she was a pap baby who needed our constant attention. She’s no longer a baby, heck, she’s no longer a toddler, she’s a fully fledged little girl and parenting her has done a 360 on what it was a year ago.

With these changes, we’ve talked endlessly about whether or not we’re up for the challenge of reverting back to life with a baby. Do we really want to go back there? Do we really want to do that? The sleepless nights, the teething, the weaning.  Are we up for it. Will we bare up under the pressure and strain that a new baby invariably brings to any relationship and family dynamic?

We just weren’t sure. I know having another child is definitely something that I want but I’m not ashamed to say that the very thought of it would fill me with both indescribable joy and fill me with utter fear.

We’ve been biding our time on making making this life altering decision, to be sure that we make the right one, not just for us, but for Ava too.

She asks constantly about when she’s going to have a sister, a sister named Hayley, yes, it’s changed from Zoe, Ava is now adamant she is having a little sister named Hayley.

On Saturday night, during the speeches of Walter’s cousins wedding, we got our answer. When the brides sister got up and gave the most beautiful and heart warming speech about what having a sister has meant to her, how her sisters love and encouragement had helped to mould and shape her, both Walter and I simultaneously turned and looked at each other, in that moment we knew that no matter how tough bringing another baby into our home would be, that yes, most definitely it is something we want to do again.

I can’t remember who, but someone told me a couple of week’s ago that we have our first child for us, but we have our second child for their sibling. For me, having a 2nd baby is both something that I want for me, but also something that I want for Ava.

So now we wait for our prayers to be answered.