That’s how I feel. I’m so unbelievably anxious that I feel sick. The past 7.5 years have been filled with moments of pure joy & hope, followed by crushing disappointment and sadness. I keep expecting the same thing to happen again. I keep waiting for something to go wrong. I keep my phone with me half expecting our SW’s to call and say they’ve made a terrible mistake and that they phoned the wrong adoptive parents. I’m so terrified of meeting the BM on the weekend and having her dislike us and change her mind that I’ve had sporadic bouts of tears.

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up after the birth and be holding the baby, I’m so afraid of this period in between, in no man’s land. Not quite sure if I should throw myself wholeheartedly into the planning and preparation or if I’m jumping the gun.

I just keep reminding myself the our SW’s have more than 30 years experience and that they know how fragile and easily hurt we infertiles are. I have to trust that they would not put me in harms way without good reason.

Oh and for those of you who’re wondering why I’m so stressed and feeling overwhelmed….. the baby is due next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!