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My Gender Neutral Child In A Gender Obsessed World

This is my daughter!

She describes herself as a girl/boy. In her 6 year old mind, this means that she looks & feels like a girl but she likes boys things. In her explanation, she finds girls things stupid and uncomfortable.

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She loves Skylanders & Ben10!

And shorts & T-shirts, Converse High Tops and the colour blue. 

She loves board shorts and low pony tails, not ribbons and bows.

She can’t stand Barbie. But loves animals. She loves science experiments and maths. Drawing and sculpting. Dirty finger nails and ratty hair. 

She really hates pink!

But she loves babies. She’s tough as nails and as sensitive as could be.

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She is not sugar & spice and all things nice.

She loves ponies and bike rides and skateboards and paper airplanes not paper dolls. She loves boys. She loves boys toys. She loves to ruffle and tumble and tease and fight. 

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She loves notebooks & pens & doodling.

She loves Jack Parrow and dancing and zef and alternative. 

She loves boxes and books and paints and scissors. 

She’s quirky and unpredictable. Kind and compassionate. Tough and strong. 

She’ll march to the beat of her own drum, with her own sense of style, her head held high and not care a damn what anyone has to say about it.

But she’ll cry over an injured bird or an unwanted dog. 

Please world, just accept her in all her quirky glory, don’t break her.

Maybe she’s just a tomboy but maybe she isn’t. Either way, she’s perfectly imperfect and I wouldn’t change a single thing about her!


  • Emy Clarke

    October 11, 2016 at 8:14 am

    Love this! Was chatting to a friend about this topic recently as Jae-Lyn is a perfect mix of princess and tomboy. Yes, she loves her pink and frills but she would prefer wearing them whilst running around outside in the mud.

    A family member actually had the nerve to say to me the other day that I should have a little boy, then Jae-Lyn wouldn’t be so boyish. I think that she is pretty perfect actually, and if she chooses the car over the barbie then so be it. I hate how everything is clearly set out as a boy thing or a girl thing.

  • chastin dreyer

    October 11, 2016 at 8:44 am

    She is perfect just as she is, my middle son loves playing dress up and my little pony and asked for a kitchen set and doll 2 Christmas’s ago he got them, gender stereotypes are ridiculous

  • catjuggles

    October 11, 2016 at 9:53 am

    Oh he is just perfect the way she is. I have also found that lots of little girls have boy things that they love. For instance A is quite a girly girl but went through a 3 year phase where she seldom wore dresses and skirts because she so much preferred shorts. She adores cricket and is very sad she can not play cricket for the school (although there seem to be a movement to allow the girls to fit into the boys teams) and she would play rugby any time if she gets the chance. She does however love to dance the most of all.

    I also think it is great that they balance their world out by being just themselves and having bits of both worlds.

  • Zayaan Schroeder

    October 11, 2016 at 4:22 pm

    Love this. Reminds me so much of myself as a kid. I’d much rather be climbing trees than having tea parties. I’m still inclined to dress more boyish and don’t even ask me about make up because I just don’t know. She’s amazing!

  • Pamdora

    October 11, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    When my husband called my daughter a tomboy, she suddenly refused to wear any skirts or dresses, as she thought that meant she has to dress like a boy! When I explained it she went right back to being a girl that loves all kinds of things. It sad we designate things as boy things and girl things. While its acceptable for a girl to like ‘boy things’, with boys there is far less acceptance if they like ‘girl things’. They should just be able to like what they like.

  • Melanie

    October 11, 2016 at 8:18 pm

    Questioning gender and stereotypes is fantastic, important and really just wonderful. Your attitude towards your child will serve her well. She knows from you that she is worthy of respect no matter what she does or how she looks.

    My daughters have now at 9 and 11 are comfortable being girls. But if that should ever change I will love my children and fight for their rights to self identify.

    Mine are poles apart. One loves pink, dresses, baby dolls, sports and cars.
    The other loves pants and baggy tshirt, playing with tiny toys, making up stories and climbing trees (mostly to get away from little sister). They are also imperfect in the most perfect way.


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