Wikipedia defines infertility as follows:
Infertility primarily refers to the biological inability of a person to contribute to conception. Infertility may also refer to the state of a woman who is unable to carry a pregnancy to full term. There are many biological causes of infertility, some which may be bypassed with medical intervention.
I fall into the sector where my infertility cannot be bypassed with medical intervention.
What they neglect to mention is that infertility doesn’t have a cure, well it didn’t for me anyway. I am and will forever be… shall we say… fertility challenged. And really, that’s ok, I’ve accepted the hand I’ve been dealt, enter Ava-Grace and to be honest, I wouldn’t change a thing!
But the symptoms of my infertility will probably remain with me forever, in varying degree’s. The infertility bear in my heart has been silent from the day that Ava-Grace was placed in my arms but as she’s gone from being a tiny, helpless baby to an intelligent, loving, social little girl, I’ve felt the whispering of that bear once again.
The bear’s whispering has been getting louder and louder and there is one glaringly obvious reason for that.
For the sector of the population who are not fertility challenged, the natural order of things, for those who want it, is to wait a period of time before trying to have another baby.
Ava is just over two years old and it would seem all my friends and family friends who had children around the same time as Ava have been busy trying for another baby.
I would be lying if I said it didn’t sting. Granted, it’s not the taken-to-my-bed-in-fits-of-sobs kind of pain that it was when we were still childless, but it still hurts.
It hurts to know that we can’t have what others seemingly take fore granted.
It hurts to know that while to a certain degree, my non-fertility challenged counter parts have some control over their process of family creation, we have little to none.
It hurts simply because I want it, we want it so badly.
Feeling that familiar hurt, the hurt that I lived with, was crippled by for 7+ years, reminds me that once an infertile, always an infertile. While the symptoms of our disease can be cured through medical intervention, adoption or fostering, the disease itself will never be cured.
We are waiting for you little one, I hope you will find us soon. Your sister can’t wait to be a big sister, she has already started asking mommy to have a baby and your daddy and I are looking forward to meeting you!