I Live In Fairyland! (Warning swearing ahead)

So I duly went and did the stupid, pointless Beta this morning. Guess what the result is???? C’mom, guess???

YES! You’re right! Its Negative!!!!!!

But guess what else??

As if to prove a point, the point being that some of us are destined to walk a harder, longer, more painful journey to motherhood than others and that I fall into this category, you know the answer simply couldn’t just be Negative, stop your meds, let your period start, we’re so sorry. Oh no. That would be far too simple, that’s what happens to other people when they have treatments, not to me. So just for a little bit of extra fun, to make sure I’m well and truly tortured by this process. Guess what the IVF Co-ordinator told me???

She kakked (shat) me out for testing 5 days early and told me, I may NOT stop my medication, instead, I should continue to pretend like there’s some hope, continue taking the stupid meds and retest again on Monday! Yay!!! I’m so f*cking lucky! I mean lets face, it, its plausible to believe that the blood test results, 9dp5dt, could change from a stone cold negative today to a bright, shiny positive on Monday! Of course it can, in f*cking fairyland!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Reply Lea White


    March 26, 2009 at 11:35 am
  • Reply SassyCupcakes

    Fuck. I’m so sorry you’re being messed around. It’s so unfair.

    March 26, 2009 at 11:56 am
  • Reply jean


    (came via iclw)

    March 26, 2009 at 12:21 pm
  • Reply Tam

    You’re right, that is f*cked up and I’m sorry.

    Big hugs Shaz xxx

    March 26, 2009 at 1:41 pm
  • Reply Yvonne

    F*ckit Shaz.
    I’m sorry πŸ™

    March 26, 2009 at 1:46 pm
  • Reply Kirsty

    Tell that IVF coordinator fairy to shove her fairy wand up where the sun don’t shine!
    I’m sorry! I was so hoping this would be it for you! πŸ™

    March 26, 2009 at 1:49 pm
  • Reply Sandy

    Awww, I was really hoping you’d cross over from the left behind group. Huge hugs. I’m so sorry.

    March 26, 2009 at 2:17 pm
  • Reply Amanda

    Geez Sharon, she’s just horrible! I do believe she shouldn’t have kakked on you, stupid bitch!!! Some people just have no idea how to treat others.
    Sending you lots of Love and hugs xxxxx

    March 26, 2009 at 2:36 pm
  • Reply Joni

    This is just freakin unbelievable…. I just wish someone would cut you a break….

    Hugs my Friend!!!! You’re still in my prayers for that fairytale positive on Monday though!!!!

    March 26, 2009 at 2:45 pm
  • Reply samcy

    Flipping hell.


    March 26, 2009 at 2:55 pm
  • Reply Adel

    Ai tog!!

    Good luck!

    March 26, 2009 at 3:01 pm
  • Reply Jo

    I am so disappointed for you. You had such beautiful embies, and I had so much hope.

    Perhaps you will be our next urban legend — the amazing, transforming beta!


    March 26, 2009 at 3:15 pm
  • Reply Flower

    I am so sorry ((HUGS))

    March 26, 2009 at 3:22 pm
  • Reply niobe

    I’m so sorry. And so furious at that effing co-ordinator. Like you don’t have enough to deal with already.

    March 26, 2009 at 3:28 pm
  • Reply monica lemoine

    Man, that’s really torturous – you’re right. Hope is such a double-edged sword – it doesn’t sound like this IVF coordinator is very sensitive about your needs, about what it’s really like. Strength and hugs, Shaz. I can see this is so hard – I can imagine it fully. I’m sorry you’re going thru this.

    March 26, 2009 at 5:39 pm
  • Reply Elana

    First off, I am SO sorry about your BFN and secondly, your co-ordinator is a b*tch. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that before…it’s totally ridiculous. You need this time to heal, not to pretend to still have high hopes. I will keep praying for you–for the strength to heal and for a healthy baby!

    March 26, 2009 at 5:46 pm
  • Reply Zeu

    So so very sorry πŸ™

    March 26, 2009 at 7:06 pm
  • Reply Katie

    Oh dear, that’s just pointless, why are they torturing you??!

    March 26, 2009 at 7:19 pm
  • Reply Emmah

    Oh Shaz i am so sorry. I am so shocked at the new, i can’t stop crying this is unfair.

    March 26, 2009 at 7:20 pm
  • Reply stacey

    I’m so sorry. You have every right to feel angry, frustrated, disgusted, and outraged right now. It truly sucks.

    March 26, 2009 at 8:59 pm
  • Reply Hollie

    I just don’t know what to say. NOthing I say will bring you peace, so I’ll pray in the meanwhile for you to have some peace. Bless you! I hate you have to go through all this.

    March 26, 2009 at 9:14 pm
  • Reply brown-eyed-girl

    Yeah… cause it’s not like you know how your own body works at this point right? Silly co-ordinator. You should give her a dirty look when you go in for your next beta. So sorry for the BFN.


    March 26, 2009 at 9:39 pm
  • Reply Faith

    Ugh, I’m so sorry for you. Good thoughts and encouragement heading your way . . . ICLW.

    March 27, 2009 at 2:37 am
  • Reply Gina

    Dammit. I hate to hear this.

    Maybe, just maybe Fairyland exists.

    Thinking of you now…


    March 27, 2009 at 4:34 am
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