Posted this mornings post, I should have known better having been down this uncertain and shitty road 72 times in the past 6 years. I’m sticking with my original motto, miracles do happen, just not too me.

I POAS again now and its a BFN. So that’s that.

The worst part is that all that other stupid shit that happened yesterday I showed to W and I got his hopes up and now I’m going to disappoint him and thats the worst part. I hate that part.

Its exactly as Maritza put it, a prison of hope and disappointment. I wish I didn’t allow hope in, sometimes I think it would be easier that way, I realize that this journey would be impossible without hope, but its also pretty impossible with all the disappointment.