I Took A Deep Breath & …

Finally informed my employer about our planned second adoption!

I’ve been wrestling with how to broach this topic with them since before we went for our second adoption assessment.

On the one hand, I felt it was my prerogative to have a second child and that I didn’t need to ask permission or forewarn my employer. I mean, I don’t know any woman who marches into her bosses office and announces that her and her husband are having sex as they plan to have another baby. After all the assessment phase of adoption is like trying to conceive and the waiting for selection phase is like pregnancy, without the symptoms or clear end in sight.

On the other hand, I have worked for my current employer going on 7 years. In that time they’ve shown the same loyalty to me as I’ve shown to them. They have been good to me and looked after me and were generous with my time off and remuneration during my maternity leave after Ava’s birth. Even though I’d only told them 6 days earlier we were going to meet our BM and then the Sunday night after Ava’s birth sent them an sms saying Ava had been born and I wouldn’t be back at work and offer me whatever maternity benefit you like. I put them in a difficult position over a key trading period, but they were still there for me, they still looked out for me. That and the fact that often the period between selection by a BM and taking baby home is usually very very short, a matter of days, with adoption.

So I really felt like I owned them some notice but really wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. I mean no employer is every jumping up and down with joy when a female employee in a key position ups and leaves for a few months, most certainly not on a professional level anyway.

So I saw a gap this week, took a deep breath and told them. Their response was as I’d hoped it would be. One of full support for our plan to adopt a second time. As well as confirmation that I would indeed get a most likely improved maternity benefit on the last time with an option to negotiate working from home for a month or two.

I do feel as though a weight has been lifted and that at least now, when I storm down the passage and announce to our MD that we’ve been selected by a birth mom and I was going on maternity leave with probably no notice, it won’t comes as a total shock to them.


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  • Reply Bo

    Oh wow! That is so exciting! I felt nervous for you reading this post! πŸ™‚

    October 17, 2011 at 7:16 am
  • Reply Lea White

    How wonderful to have such supportive employers and I think they probably appreciated the notice given that things can suddenly change for you without much notice at all.

    October 17, 2011 at 7:34 am
  • Reply Kristin

    I am so glad your employer responded so favorably. Kudos to them for showing the kind of support and loyalty all employers should (but few do).

    October 17, 2011 at 1:29 pm
  • Reply Hayley


    October 17, 2011 at 2:11 pm
  • Reply Mash

    That’s a great idea. It’s reminding me that it’s probably about time I sat my boss down and got a bit more honest about all these sneaky “woman’s” appointments in my life!

    October 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm
  • Reply Marcia (123 blog)

    Very brave of you

    October 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm
  • Reply sue stuart

    Now they know πŸ™‚ it definitely is a weight off your shoulders, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they suspected you would like to adopt again. One of the ladies at DH’s office had 3 babies in 30 months (unbelievable I know!) and I don’t see why the same maternity courtesy shouldn’t be extended to an adoptive mother as to a biological mother.

    October 17, 2011 at 5:56 pm
  • Reply maggsbunny

    That must have taken guts! Glad you got such a good response πŸ™‚

    October 17, 2011 at 11:03 pm
  • Reply tzipieastwest

    It is a great feeling…. I did the same last Friday !!
    I am glad your management seems to look for win-win approaches with their employees.

    October 18, 2011 at 3:28 pm
  • Reply Julia

    Must feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted. Glad that you got such a great response.

    October 21, 2011 at 9:12 pm
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