And not a moment to soon. I know this may sound odd to those who have not battled RPL, but those who have will relate to this statement completely:  My beta’s have dropped even further confirming the end in sight and aside from being sad, my most overwhelming emotions is one of relief. I can stop the roller coaster and get off. I know what to do, I’m in familiar territory and I know how to cope and get it done, done this 6 times, this time won’t be any different.

So for now I get to take off the Estra-Derm patches and allow my poor stomach some relief, I’ve already started applying healing ointment in the hope that my skin colour and texture will return to normal sometime soon and that the incessant burning and itching will pass in the next day or so. I can stop the Gestone shots and let the hard lumps and bumps in my bum start to slowly heal. All I have to do now is wait for the bleeding to start. I’m disappointed as I was hoping to have a D&C but apparently its too soon so I have to allow the miscarriage to come naturally. That’s also ok, I’ve done that 6 times before as well. I’m prepared, I have a few packs of Myprodols, I have hot water bottles and bean bags ready and in a day or so I’ll take to my bed with all of the above and wait for the pain to pass.

I also have some things to think about. Dr G feels that they have covered every base there is to cover. My immune tests and blood thinning disorder tests all came back normal. Our HLA studies came back proving that we do not share any antigens, our Chromosomal studies came back proving that we did not have any genetic clashes. All my internal issues have been resolved, the polyp was removed, the uterine scarring was removed, the partial septum was removed, the Hydrosalpingus was drained and removed. My uterus is in perfect shape to hold a pregnancy. The mere fact that there was communication between my uterus and the embryo of the FET proves that in theory all should be fine, but its not. So there is one other thing out there to try, one other thing that could make the difference between another early miscarriage and a live full term baby….. its the one thing that has sat like a quiet whisper in the back of my mind for sometime now, its the one thing that sounded like shouting voices when Dr G said it himself in our session this morning….. Donor Eggs!