Its So Ironic Its Actually Hilarious!

And so my life with infertility continues.

AF was three days late, so what do you think I did? Yup! You guessed it! I POAS!!!!!! And frikkin blow me over if it didn’t show up as a faint +, so what do you think I did then? Yes, you know, of course you know the answer to that. I went for a blood test.

And then, guess what happened next. Because this is the part where I can only just shake my head and laugh cynically at how lucky I am. Three hours after the blood test, while still waiting for the results of the test, AF arrived. A lovely, post chemical pregnancy type AF. The type that has me doubled over in agony despite how many Miprodols or Extra Strength Nurfens I take.

And the saddest part of all? I’m actually relived that its over. That I can store this very crappy week, somewhere in the back of my mind, not think about it, not poke the emotion of it, nothing, I can just tuck it away and deal with it later, when I feel I’m ready to.

What amazes me the most is just how resilient we infertile girls are. Less than one day later, and I’m seriously excited to go for the fabulous CD2/3 scan tomorrow morning so that I can start my 21 days of birth control pills in prep for my next IVF.

Perhaps my improved state of mind also has to do with the fact that I was able to tear my one tracked mind away from my own misery and see some of the misery and suffering of others.

My thoughts go out to Shalini, who’s husband has asked for a divorce right in the midst of her pain caused by infertility.

And then Declan’sfamily who have been given the devastating news on the state of his health. Declan is quite a famous little baby here in South Africa, for those of you who don’t know about him, I copied this from his page:

Declan du Toit was born on 14 June 2008 at 10 am – a gorgeous blonde bundle. Mom and Dad, Gillian and Daryl, were thrilled to bits and took him home to begin their new exciting (daunting?) adventure as parents.

Life can throw curve balls when you least expect it….

At 10 days old, Declan, was diagnosed with a a malignant tumor which appeared to be growing from the back of his eye. And so his – and Gill and Daryl’s – tough journey towards full health began.

As per their requests, please can you all hold baby Declan and his mommy and daddy up in prayer during what must be a terribly painful time for them and lets ask God for a miracle.

Its stories like this that make me realize I have NO RIGHT to sit about whining about boohoo poor little ‘ol me!

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  • Reply Lea White

    I have read a little bit about little Declan, thank you for sharing and I feel so sad for them that their struggle is so very tough indeed. Am definitely keeping them in my prayers and thoughts.

    And now as you are about to embark on your next IVF I just wanted to remind you how hard I’m praying for you, how much I’m thinking of you and how much I’m holding on to hope with you!

    Hugs, hugs, hugs all the way from over here!!!

    February 5, 2009 at 10:39 am
  • Reply Marina

    Oh Sharon, I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time. My hope for you is that your upcoming IVF will have a positive result, and then you can not only put this crappy week behind you, but the whole crappy infertility thing behind you for good!

    Thinking of you.


    February 5, 2009 at 1:06 pm
  • Reply Shalini White

    hey mate. thanks for your comment on my blog. everyone’s path is different, and the same goes for pain. its not a contest, I hope. maybe it should be, I’d be in the top 5 this week! : S

    but I hear you on the relief … its sad when its over but the relief that washes over you in “an awesome wave” is almost pathetic. I’m sorry about the BFN. I’ve had a “chemical pregnancy” too. AF arrived the morning I POAS. stupid bitch AF. grr.

    I hope you have a better next cycle. hope’s a real mother f**ker I know, but its good to have some once in a while. for a laugh!

    take care mate


    February 5, 2009 at 1:30 pm
  • Reply Abbey

    Sorry you are having such a shit time Sharon. This journey is so freakin hard. I hope yours will come to a happy ending soon with your upcoming IVF. I’ll be praying for you and holding all my thumbs and toes!

    xox Abbey

    February 5, 2009 at 4:15 pm
  • Reply Elize

    It totally sucks! I’m so sorry. Praying for your IVF hon!

    February 5, 2009 at 6:59 pm
  • Reply stacey

    Sharon, I’m sorry.

    Know that you’re in my prayers today, along with the others that you mentioned going through a hard time.

    February 5, 2009 at 10:18 pm
  • Reply samcy

    You’re 100% right -others are also going through shit – but our shit is real to us… sorry hon.


    February 6, 2009 at 1:47 pm
  • Reply quiet-one

    Just read your post and I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. You seem remarkably strong through it all, I hope you have better luck next time and things start going your way a bit more.

    Good luck

    February 6, 2009 at 7:51 pm
  • Reply Pamela Jeanne

    Your ability to set aside your (intense) discomfort and focus on the pain of others is more than a little admirable — you’re a very strong and caring woman. My heart goes out to all involved in your post…

    February 9, 2009 at 2:54 am
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