You know how you see in the movies during a fight, how a dude will be kicked in the crotch and then when he falls down to the ground, somebody will deliver a nice hard, swing with all your might, kick in the stomach?

That’s what if feels like for me right now. I’m that dude, who received the swift kick in the crotch, that feel to the ground and while I was lying there fate/hope/infertility came along with with all his might swung a kick into my stomach that has knocked the wind out of me.

Yesterday I emailed my RE about my suspected chemical pregnancy and whether or not I’d been tested for Natural Killer Cells, this was his response:

We do not have a good reference laboratory test for natural killer cells.  We would manage the patient if there was a high index of suspicion.  We can except that in the light of your history that you potentially do have an elevated natural killer cell activity in the for we can apply other forms of management is to you empirically in order to lower at the natural killer cell activity.


 So now I wait to see him to discuss this further. I’m not 100% certain of what treatment for NKC will entail, but whatever it is, I have a feeling its going to add additional costs to our already pricey IVF and further strain on my poor body.


It really feels like everytime I jump a hurdle another one comes and me and the more hurdles I jump the faster they come at me and I’m jumping as high and as fast as I can, but I’m getting tired and very soon my foot is going to hook on one of those hurdles and I’m going to fall flat on my face, bloody knees and scraped elbows and I’m not going to be able to get up again.