More On Pregnancy Annoucements

You’d think that after 7 years I’d be over it, but I still get a twinge of hurt in my heart when I hear others pregnancy news. Granted its not nearly the searing-crush-my-heart kind of pain it used to be, but it still stings and I’ve really begun to accept that if, after 7 years, it still feels like that, then it probably always will right?

Its not envy or jealousy, its more like a type of pain, that brings tears to burn in the back of my eyes and an ache in my throat, and a tightening pain in my heart, thankfully after years of practise I’ve learned to control it, so I don’t land up bursting into tears in front of others, but I’m always so grateful when the announcements are done in such a manner that it doesn’t shine a glaring spotlight on me. U know what I’m referring to, one of those large, in a crowd, kind of announcements, where as the announcement is made, in that split second after everyone has begun expressing their congratulations, you feel an awkwardness in the room as people steel furtive glances your way to see how you’re coping. I hate those types of announcements, they make me feel awkward and embarrassed. I hate that other people feel like they need to play down their joy in my presence, don’t get me wrong, I’m eternally grateful that they feel that way, but I do hate it as well.  I’ve survived a number of those “guess what – we’re pregnant” shout outs in a room full of people and each time I felt mortified by others responses, by the “shame shaz” look of pity in their eyes as they spy me out the corner of their eye, as they steel little sad glances in my direction.

Yesterday, we received another pregnancy announcement, and I’m so secretly grateful to the daddy to be that his announcement came in the form of an email and I didn’t have to try and not notice the furtive glances in my direction. I love when people make their announcement like this, while it still causes that little sting of hurt/regret/wistfulness, at least I don’t feel like there’s a massive spotlight shining on my yearning in front of others!

So another pregnancy announcement survived, 7 years in and I’ve survived literally hundreds of these announcements, sooner or later its got to me by turn…….. right?????

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  • Reply WiseGuy

    Yes, your time will come! I shall pray that it does Sharon!

    June 27, 2009 at 6:22 am
  • Reply wheresmybun

    Yes hon, your time *will* come! I personally hate it with a passion that people have to down play their happpyness because of me. I appreciate it when hubby phones me or tells me in person when someone close to me falls pregnant, but I wish it wasn’t so. I’ve grown a lot the past 6+ years, don’t know if my heart has grown stronger or harder, but I don’t even feel a tinge of sadness anymore and I genuinely feel happy for them, they can even tell me in person or in a group I really really don’t care anymore. I’ve grown to hate being handled with kid gloves just because we struggle. It irritates the shit out of me, but I also know that people do care about hurting my feelings, so although I hate I also appreciate it and accept that neither will get better or go away but that I just have to deal with it as best I can.

    I’m sorry you had to deal with yet another announcement while you are still waiting for yours. *hugs*

    June 27, 2009 at 9:26 am
  • Reply Rach

    Yes your time WILL come, I’m sure of it!


    June 27, 2009 at 12:47 pm
  • Reply Abbey

    Our time will come Sharon! I’m hoping it’s sooner rather than later for us both ;0) Those public, or even in person, announcements are so damn hard. I much prefer the email or text approach. It gives me time to compose myself and respoond with the love & joy it deserves rather than my initial reaction of hurt and anger.

    June 27, 2009 at 2:55 pm
  • Reply Kristin

    It will ABSOLUTELY be your turn one day!

    June 27, 2009 at 4:48 pm
  • Reply Kirsty

    yes – it will be your turn

    June 27, 2009 at 7:17 pm
  • Reply Lea White

    I too believe your time will come!

    June 27, 2009 at 10:23 pm
  • Reply CeCe Garrett

    You already know what I am going to say. Breathe deep, my friend. Your turn will be here soon. And you will hear me shout and celebrate (honestly) from The States all the way over to you. As horrid as this sounds… I can really only be extremely happy for very few pregnant women. But you are SO one of them. That makes better sense in my head. Hugs hun!


    June 28, 2009 at 2:10 am
  • Reply stacey

    Sharon, I always appreciate how you and I are so often on the “same page.” You have no idea how timely this post is for me. The pregnancy announcements have been steadily rolling in. Nearly every time I check my email, another one awaits.

    I totally understand how it’s not jealousy or anger toward the other person. And yes, it is great when others who have faced IF finally get to experience pregnancy. After all, we’ve hoped and prayed for them for months and even years! Their news is especially great and I am truly happy. BUT still, there is pain and sadness because we still wait for and long for that day.

    Thanks for writing this. Love ya!

    June 28, 2009 at 7:39 pm
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