There are two points of discussion from this one blog post that I want to word vomit. So here goes….
I always knew that by adopting trans racially/cross racially that we would face certain challenges, narrow minded people, misunderstandings & prejudices. But we didn’t care. And to be honest, for the most part it has left me unaffected. I’m not easily offended by people’s views on this subject, mostly because I have learnt through my two beautiful children, that love crosses all divides, that love conquers all and that being able to love wholly & completely without placing value on a persons colour or creed is a beautiful gift that has opened my eyes to so many other possibilities and schools of thought. That I know something that others don’t and that I am all the more richer for that knowledge and this experience.
I was raised in a liberal thinking family, I am a liberal thinker myself and in no way consider myself narrow minded. I believe in “live & let live” and this has allowed me to open my mind and my heart and embrace all things. A woman’s right to choice – which may surprise some of you, given that I am an adoptive mother, same sex parenting, cross racial, cross gendered, cross cultural, blended families.
One of the lessons my parents taught me, from a young age, was to believe in democracy, to stand against racism and to support equal rights for all. And I do support all of those ideals. I think on many levels, I have taken the liberal mindedness that my parents instilled in me a step further, while they are liberals, I’m probably what would be considered a libtard in more conservative circles and you know? That’s a label I will proudly wear.
So one of the points of this email is to share my thoughts and opinions on the use of the term “non-white”. I’ve seen it used in a couple of blog posts this week, and by sharing my thoughts here, I want to make it clear, I’m not condemning the writers who used this term, I merely want to share my opinions on this term, especially now that I am parenting mixed race children.
My dad always taught us that the term “non-white” was highly offensive, that it ranked up there with other racist terms we’ve all heard because in an attempt to include all races and creeds, barring white, into one term, “non-white” is in effect saying that white is the be all and end all, the superior and that unless you are white, you’re a non-entity. I understand that we live in a society highly sensitive about race, given our past history, but find it sad that we’re afraid to say the word black, coloured etc to describe anothers race. Really, at the end of the day, we are what we are. I am white, my husband is white, you may be black or coloured or any other colour, but it just a colour and in an ideal world, we should not be afraid to use these terms because they should not define how we value a person. As people, as human beings, we are so much more valuable than the colour of our skins, that the string of DNA that will determine that colour.
Which bring me to my next point…
Earlier today, I participated in a discussion on Carte Blanche’s FB page about adoption and adoption obstacles. A man, who I had planned to name and shame but have since decided against it, mostly because I just feel sorry for him, had asked if we had adopted “monkeys”? (Carte Blanche have since contacted me & removed his posts)
I am fortunate enough to be far enough along this journey to not be offended by such narrow mindedness any more. I went on to explain to him that a child is a child and that every child has the right to a safe and loving childhood regardless of the colour of their skin, but to answer his question…. my children are not white.
His response will probably shock you…..
He responded by telling me that they (my children) will one day betray us because of the colour of their skins!
I can’t even say I felt outrage at his response, mostly I just felt sadness. Sad that there are people in the world so filled with hate and narrow-mindedness and what their lives, filled with such hate, must be like?
My children have been referred to as “half breeds” who will be sexual slaves to white men one day because apparently all women of colour are sexual deviants who simply can’t get enough of a white penis – this comment I traced via the writers IP and found out he is a sad little narrow minded man living in America, go figure… the land of the free!
And now they’ve been referred to as monkeys.
But you know what?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails.1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
That’s what my children have taught me. They have taught me love that knows no colour. They have taught me love that transcends all human boundaries and I only wish that every narrow minded sad little person who saw my children as half bred monkeys could know half of what it is that I know.