Marcia, from 1,2,3 Blog has done a few postings about the 5 Love Languages and after an in-depth discussion with a close friend, I decided it was time to take the test to determine exactly what my love languages are.
I know that I have a tendency to conduct my relationship’s in a very similar manner to guys and I’m very thankful to have many friends who accept that is just the way I am, I, by no means want to come across as thoughtless or selfish, I just conduct myself differently. I don’t do long telephone conversations, actually, far from it, I HATE talking on the phone and I find SMS’s, BBM’s, phone calls disruptive to whatever I happen to be busy with at the time. Also, if I’m going through a tough time, I prefer to not be asked about it but to rather volunteer information to a friend when I feel ready, over a glass of wine, face to face. I’m not the type that will spend an evening having a conversation via BBM. I won’t phone you to shoot the breeze. I just don’t do that. And its not because I dont care about my friends, I just don’t operate that way. I don’t do drama and I lack the time, energy & patience for anything high maintenance and in return, you’ll get a friend who is surprisingly uncomplicated and very very low maintenance. You don’t need to call me, text me, BBM me regularly, just touch base with me via Twitter or FB or my blog and I’m more than happy till the next time we sit down together with a bottle of wine.
So during a discussion with a friend earlier this week, she mentioned that she had come to realize that with me, it wasn’t a matter of being thoughtless, it was a matter of different love languages and that got me thinking back to the postings that Marcia had done on this very topic and I decided to take the online quiz.
The results were astounding and I would have to say pretty spot on! When I think back on some key times in my life when I felt loved and appreciated by my spouse and by others – the test really reflected this.
Apparently I am bilingual – I have 2 primary love languages – Acts of service and quality time. These really do ring true for me. The things that have touched me the most are really simple things like…
Walter starting a load of washing when he see’s the laundry basket is full & he knows I’m busy with something.
When Ava was born, on Saturday evening, utterly exhausted and shattered, a friend arrived unexpectedly at our front door, laden with a tray, loaded with a fully cooked dinner.
I love one on one time with friends and family, sitting around chatting, I think that’s why I enjoy my BB dinners so much!
Walter and I have totally different love languages, his love languages are physical contact and words of affirmation with the latter being most dominant.
Having my friends do something to make my life easier, or spending time together is far more important to me than anything else. I think that is why the things I have appreciated the most have very little do with the physical gifts and way more to do with time spent together. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t love receiving a gift, because I do, I love the surprise as much as the next guy it’s just not what makes me feel loved as much as time or service does.
Affirmations don’t work for me either, they make feel uncomfortable and I find them overly mushy and sentimental – difficult one when your partner has affirmations as top of his list. I’m not very good at giving or receiving affirmations and this is something I’ll have to work on.
I’d recommend everyone who hasn’t done the quiz do it, its given me such great insight into what makes me tick and also has helped me to feel less guilty about coming across as thoughtless at times because I think that the people know me best will know that that is not the case. That if they need an ear, I’ll be there for them, if they need assistance, I’ll be there, I will probably just forget to sms and ask them how they’re doing a few days later….