The older I have gotten, the less likely I am to make new year resolutions. I fell into that trap too many times over the years, failed at almost all my resolutions and landed up getting down on myself and my ability to stick to anything. A few years ago, I started rather choosing a focus for each year. In 2014 my word was “I AM” and 2014 landed up being an epic year for me, full of personal growth and achievement.
2015 was one of the toughest years for me. You’ll all know this because God knows, I spent enough time in the past year whining how awful it was. But these holidays, I spent a fair amount of time in reflection over the past year and I realized something. I allowed myself to be controlled over situations, people and things that had no business controlling me. I forgot that while I can’t control what happens in my life, I can control how I choose to react to it. And last year, I allowed circumstances, people and situations to make me feel trampled and down trodden. I did not try to pick myself, dust myself off and keep trying, I felt and acted defeated by it all and this had far reaching effects with the manifestation of my depression and anxiety and this also affected my health, my weight, my fitness and my strength. Somewhere during the course of last year, I allowed myself to become a victim of my circumstance and that festered and encouraged my depression, I allowed myself to fall, head first into a downward spiral in EVERY aspect of my life.
Well, when you name it, you can claim it. So ….. to here and no further.
So my focus for 2016 will be about finding balance. Balance in my home/work life. Balance in my reactions to situations, circumstance and people. Balance in my health and well being. Just balance. It won’t be easy, but it will make a difference to how I move through and experience myself and the world around me. Because nothing and no one is worth losing myself over and God knows I teetered on the brink last year.
In 2016, I’ll be riding front & center on the roller coaster of my life, head thrown back, arms waving in the air yelling…. Yippee Ki-Yay Mother ….. I’m going to focus on rolling with the punches, stop, drop, roll, and bounce back up again, I’m going to ride that roller coaster with my arms in the air, I’m going to not allow my reactions and emotions to be defined by that which I cannot control.
2016…. It will be my balancing act and it’s GOING to be awesome!