No Actually I Live In The Real World

So finally, my BFN is confirmed, after a day of hope and emotions being swung all over the place. Finally everything came crashing down. After my frantic sms and email to my RE yesterday morning, he contacted me to say they were running an E2 and Progesterone test to establish what was happening as it was too early to be experiencing bleeding.

After allowing hope a foot back in the door, my RE called yesterday evening to confirm that my E2 levels were way down and that my Progesterone was down to a count of only 7. He believes this is a clear indication that my body is switching off its absorption of the medication, apparently, something which can happen in a small percentage of women, as my Progesterone count is low enough to indicate that my body has not been absorbing the Crinone in at least the last few days. This is a repeated pattern with me, during timed cycles, IUI’s and IVF’s, AF is never delayed, its always slightly early or bang on time. I’m on CD28 today and have full bleeding.

The solution? We’ll discuss further in my follow up appointment next Friday, but for now Dr G feels that we need to consider doing ONLY injectables as support during the next round, so both my Progesterone and Estrogen supplements will be given via an intramuscular injection, sorry W, but thats one injection I can’t do myself so you’ll have to do it for me.

When will the next round be? Honestly, I don’t know, I’m too heart broken to think about that right now.

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  • Reply Trish

    hi, I am visiting from ICLW…No. 103 to say hello and to check out your blog.
    My Little Drummer Boys

    I am sorry for your BFN .I don’t know what to say to comfort you when you also get sucky news about more injections.
    I wish you luck on the next cycle.

    March 27, 2009 at 5:40 am
  • Reply Trish

    hi, I am visiting from ICLW…No. 103 to say hello and to check out your blog.
    I hope my comment didn’t go into spam and my auto fill link is in complete.

    It is normal to feel broken, Hugs ! Paltry but I mean it.

    March 27, 2009 at 5:42 am
  • Reply Amanda

    I was hoping yesterday that there would still be a chance, I told P about the tests Dr. G did, and both of us still had hope that it would turn out positive. I’m so sorry Sharron, really, I just can’t believe it’s over.
    Sending you lots of love and hugs, I know it’s really not much and won’t make you feel better, but just know that we are thinking of you today.
    Love, A, xxxxx

    March 27, 2009 at 7:15 am
  • Reply Gen

    hi Shaz,

    I am sorry to hear that this has happened.

    This was the same thing in my IVF — the Progesterone was not being absorbed so they changed me to injectables — in the butt

    thinking of you


    March 27, 2009 at 8:00 am
  • Reply skrambled

    Time will determine when you are ready. The ONLY thing I am glad about is that there is some sort of reason for this. The info brings you closer to your BFP. It seems Murphy is also having a big fat laugh at your fear of needles.

    In my thoughts.

    March 27, 2009 at 8:05 am
  • Reply Adel

    I am so sorry Shaz!! I know how heartbreaking it is and I am thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers.

    Good luck!!!


    March 27, 2009 at 8:11 am
  • Reply Lea White

    I’m so very sorry. My heart breaks for you!

    March 27, 2009 at 8:22 am
  • Reply Yvonne

    Oh Sharon. I was so desperately hoping for a different outcome.
    I’m so sorry 🙁 🙁

    For the silver lining part at least the RE thinks he might know WHY because if there’s a WHY then it can be fixed, and if it’s something that can be fixed, there’s more potential for hope.

    Biggest hugs to you, I really wish I could do more than just send platitudes your way.

    Thinking of you…


    March 27, 2009 at 8:25 am
  • Reply Abbey

    I was reading a book last night and a line from it really summed up this journey …it was something along the lines of “I felt like I was drowning in a sorrow too deep for the size of the heart that was trying to hold it” I know how you are hurting Sharon and to say it’s unfair is a massive understatement. The anger, the fear, the bitterness, the despair, the sence of futility. I know how your heart aches and I wish there were something I could say to take it away but I know there is nothing. You will get through this Sharon. ((((Hugs))))

    March 27, 2009 at 8:34 am
  • Reply Ann

    Sending you loads of love

    March 27, 2009 at 8:57 am
  • Reply Emmah

    I know what you are feeling my dear, sending you lots of love . If you need to vent i am here for you.

    March 27, 2009 at 9:11 am
  • Reply Sandy

    No magic words, just the offer of hugs to the ether for when you’re ready to receive them. I’m so sorry that it didn’t work for you. Take your time in recovering, wallow in the pain as much as you need to, and don’t let anyone tell you you don’t have the right to feel devastated.

    March 27, 2009 at 11:39 am
  • Reply jan

    oh sharon!no im so very sad for you F*k F*kkity F*k F*K F*K!!! sorry hope that didnt offend anyone, no words just huge enormous mega large hugs

    March 27, 2009 at 11:52 am
  • Reply Joni

    Oh no my friend!!! I am soo soo sorry, I wish I had the words or power to take away your hurt and pain!!! Massive hugs and prayers!!!!!

    March 27, 2009 at 11:56 am
  • Reply Mermaid

    I am so so sorry. Thinking of you!

    March 27, 2009 at 12:03 pm
  • Reply Tam

    I’m so sorry. Thinking of you both xxx

    March 27, 2009 at 1:13 pm
  • Reply Hollie

    I’m just broken hearted for you. No real words of wisdom to share, wish I could say something to make it better. I pray that time heals your wounds, and you take all the time you need before moving on with the next step. Take care of yourself. (((HUGS AND PRAYERS)))

    March 27, 2009 at 5:32 pm
  • Reply stacey

    Again, I’m so sorry. Praying for you today, my dear friend.

    March 27, 2009 at 9:01 pm
  • Reply 'Murgdan'

    I’m so sorry. Wish you could have gone to Fairytale Land like your wishful thinking nurse thought….

    March 28, 2009 at 12:12 am
  • Reply Erica Schlaefer

    Sorry for the BFN. IF sucks.

    March 28, 2009 at 2:25 am
  • Reply staciet

    I am so sorry for the BFN. Sending hugs your way…


    March 28, 2009 at 8:49 am
  • Reply CeCe Garrett

    Love you to bits. If you need me you come find me. ZI hope you’re doing something nice for yourself this weekend

    March 28, 2009 at 9:27 pm
  • Reply Shalini White

    this f@cking sucks! F#cking BFNs… would have been nice to be suckerpunched with a “miracle”, sometimes even when expecting shit news, it feels like someone’s pulled the rug out from under you. I’m sorry, nothing else I can say but be frustrated for you.
    Also… I’m no RE (ha, ha) but my understanding is that crinone doesn’t show up in bloodwork at the right levels, so the prog levels wouldnt be entirely accurate. Unlike pessaries which suck but show up in the bloodwork. I wish I’d saved that link to that article, but a friend’s doctor at my clinic has also said this to her. Just a thought. Doesnt help much I know.
    Hope you can pick yourself and get on track when you’re ready… xx

    March 31, 2009 at 5:26 am
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