Its really no wonder infertility is so misunderstood by the fertile world out there. Its no wonder we infertiles get bombarded with statements like:
- Perhaps you’re not meant to have a child
- If you just relaxed
- I know somebody who adopted & then she fell pregnant
- If you stopped thinking about it
- Its better you had your miscarriage now and not later
I mean, really, we are a very much misunderstood bunch. The world at large does not understand what we go through, attempts to try and understand are usually made by individuals with two kids hanging off his/her ankles so it comes across as insincere or so glossed over that these attempts never really get to grips with the true emotion and the true pain of infertility.
I’ve seen way too many movies/TV shows of late that depict a couple battling infertility who breezily decide to give up trying for a baby without too much effort or lost sleep, very little pain and no hand wringing anguish. I’ve watched movies & read books that depict the grieving process of a miscarriage as a few tears shed and then life happily carrying on with always the pot of gold being found at the end of the rainbow. Even Christian movies offer little comfort in this area, I’d have to say, the one Christian movie I watched covering this area I found down right insulting. I found my mother in laws insistence that I watch it because it would be so helpful even more insulting.
I hate that so many people who lead lives in the public eye, who have the ability to change the misconceptions out there about infertility keep quiet about it.
All the celebrities quietly battling infertility, all the TV shows breezily skimming over the true emotions about infertility, all the movies that lightly cover injections and treatments and IVF’s like they’re nothing, like they’re so easy to cope with.
No wonder we’re so misunderstood. No wonder the world looks at us and cannot understand our pain, cannot imagine our feels of loss & isolation. No wonder so many don’t understand the ache I carry in my heart daily for the babies I’ve lost, the great sense of disappointment every month when Aunt Flo arrives.
And then to add insult to injury I have to watch some stupid TV ad from a Medical Aid on how starting a family is a liability for some so birth control is covered under their risk portfolio. Gee thanks MA! What about those of us paying you thousands every month, desperate for a baby but having to fork out of our own pockets for treatment for our disease?