And in such a short period of time. I went from being one of those raw, easily hurt, enough-already type infertiles to being a mother. And everything I felt and believed was turned on its head. At my very core, I’m still an infertile, I’m still a barren woman, I still cannot have babies and yet I have a baby. And suddenly I’ve become one of those women, the type that some infertiles find boring because IRL and my online persona is very focused on my daughter. On capturing and remembering every special moment from birth, for me its birth because of the adoption, for other women like me, its the moment they find out they’re pregnant, and every special memory onwards shared with this little being.
For those who have children, this is understandable, tolerable, enjoyable. For those still fighting the fight… not so much! And the proof? Well aside from the silence on the other end of my phone calls, sms messages and Skype messages, the suddenly empty social calendar, the change in my blog stats and in the radical reduction in comments I receive on my blog, I’ve found another source of proof. Initially I was indignant but then I started to find it all rather humours, especially because not so long ago I would have/did do the same thing. People have “unfriended” me on FaceBook! *sob* I came to this realization quite innocently as well. It wasn’t like I was looking for ways to point fingers and say: “Aha! I knew it!” Instead I was, in the typical boring, gag worthy mom thing, admiring the photo’s I’ve uploaded of our little miracle. I was reading through all the comments on each photo and noticed at first that some of the comments weren’t loading with profile pics. It was only a while later that I realized that the comments that weren’t loading with profile pics also had no names attached. It was then that it hit me! I’d been “unfriended”. My updates, obviously too mommy orientated, too boring, not full of the angst of the past had become too much for some to read.
I’ve done this, I’ve been guilty of the same act but how ironic that it would happen to me now. I know that my fellow moms-after-infertility will relate when I say that it was in a way humorous, I actually had a giggle at myself,
Being a mom-after-infertility is an odd place to be, so many transitions to make….. but still oh-so-worth it!
FYI – edited as some of what I said may have come across as hurtful, not my intention. Note, I’m taking a dig at myself and not at anyone else.