Oh The Guilt….

A week or so ago I wrote a posting about Ava’s 3am chats and about whether I was being a bad mom for just letting her chat away at that time of the morning and not paying too much attention to it. Well it turns out…. I was being a bad mom! I discovered the reason for the 3am chats this weekend.

Its been cold in Jo’burg the past few days. We haven’t really had an autumn, it just went from being mild to suddenly freezing. This weekend in particular, was very very bad. Ava sleeps in a bababag™, she has the summer one which she’s been sleeping in since she was a newborn and the last month she’s been sleeping in the Autumn/Spring bag and will this week be moving to the winter bag. For those of you who don’t know the bababag™, they come with a nursery thermometer that displays the temperature in her room and then advises, depending on the temperature, what she should be sleeping in at night and I’ve been following these recommendations. For the past week, Ava has been sleeping in a long-sleeved vest inside her spring/autumn bababag™ but I have cheated and still covered her with the weighted baby blanket, even though they recommend not covering the baby with anything except what the nursery thermometer recommends.

So on Friday night, the nursery thermometer recommended that she sleep in a long-sleeved vest and leggings inside the spring/autumn bababag™, of course I didn’t agree, it seemed not warm enough. So instead, I set up a heater in her room, set to the lowest setting to take the chill out of the air, I warmed up one of those long last warm bean bags and I dressed her in a long-sleeved vest as well as a long-sleeved onsie, put her inside the autumn/spring bababag™ and then covered her with the weighted blanket and wouldn’t you know it…………. she slept right through.

I did the same on Saturday night and Sunday night and she slept right through those nights as well.

So I the answer to am I a bad mom is YES, my poor baby was cold and that’s why she wasn’t sleeping through, not because she wanted to chat at 3am but because she had no other way of telling me she was cold and couldn’t sleep!!!

This week I’ll be buying her the winter bababag™ but still following my own instincts in terms of what is warm enough for her!

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  • Reply darylfaure

    Sharon, let me tell you the one thing I have realised with my little one, is that just when you think you have it all worked out, something else changes in the equation and you are back to square one. It may have been that she was cold, or it may be that she has a tooth coming in, or maybe her tummy was sore, or maybe she just woke up and wanted to chat, as we all do. Please don’t berate yourself or think you where being a bad mother. Trust me, it is going to happen again, and you will be left wandering, what now? And then you will figure it out again, and then something else will change. You are doing wonderfully and are a great mom!

    April 26, 2010 at 1:46 pm
  • Reply charnetrollip

    i agree dont beat yourself up you a great mommy… and maybe those nights she really did want to chat but a good thing now that you also now its time to get the winter baba bag

    love to Ava from her little BFF em


    April 26, 2010 at 4:02 pm
  • Reply TJ

    I’m with Daryl on this one! It still doesn’t make you a bad mom. You’re not a bad mom. I mean a bad mom… look at your previous post and then see if you can still call yourself a bad mom?

    I also use the Bababag and I’ve always followed my own instinct in terms of what’s hot and not. I’ve had him only in his nappy only once. My husband thinks I’m ridiculous by putting on a vest and 2 babygro’s, and socks and mittens. But this weather is ridiculous. Hell If I can wear a long sleeve, and 2 jerseys… then my babe is fine in 3 layers. I’m also moving to the winter bag this week because the summer one just isn’t working. I landed up putting a fleece blanket underneath him last night and it seemed to helped as well!

    I struggled for 2 weeks and eventually decided to start solids… so glad I did because he only picked up 140grams in a month – dropping him from the avg 50percentile to 25%. Did I feel like a bad mom…sure for a while, but does it make me a bad mom? No, just a Mom in Training!

    April 26, 2010 at 4:10 pm
  • Reply suestuart

    Shame Sharon, we’re all just figuring out this baby thing! You are a wonderful mom from all I can tell 🙂

    April 26, 2010 at 6:00 pm
  • Reply lea2109

    Nope you’re not a bad mom. It is a learning curve that’s all.

    April 26, 2010 at 10:28 pm
  • Reply niseysmusings

    we’re all guilty of forgetting to trust our own intuition! just keep doing the best you can, its all any of us can do!

    April 27, 2010 at 7:48 am
  • Reply orbit365

    Shame man…don’t feel bad. It can happen to the best of us and all that happens is that we learn from our mistakes. I must agree with a previous commenter. Every time we thing that we have it all figured out then there is another surprise.
    You definitely ain’t a bad Mama. Go and reread your previous post. That cow is bad Mama personified.

    April 27, 2010 at 10:50 am
  • Reply staceysthoughts

    When I read posts like this from new moms, I don’t at all think how awful they are. Instead I think how glad I am that they write about these lessons learned for those of us who have yet to try our hand at parenting! You are doing great — learning and adapting to Ava’s needs as they come along.

    April 27, 2010 at 11:28 pm
  • Reply hcouperus

    Tj – I love your comment “mom in training” priceless!! Even with having four beautiful girls my self, I still would define myself as a ‘mom in training’!! Unfortunaly all kids are different even from the same parents!! (This is what I love most about my girls that they are all different WOW!)Sharon – Keep up the good work, Ava is soo worth it!! (thankfully, they do not remember much of their early years!)

    April 28, 2010 at 6:35 am
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