Today has been a very hard hard day… thankfully, I don’t have too many of these but, today was a truly shitty day of the very special kind.

I really wonder if I’m alone in feeling this way, of if there are other working mom’s out there who sometimes feel completely abused and over extended? Wanting our cake and wanting to eat it and all that jazz?

There are days when I feel totally over extended and stretched to the limit that I just don’t know how to cope and today was one of them. Granted, it was also partly my own fault.

See I feel pretty much time urgent almost all of the time. I put SO much pressure on myself to be all things in all the rolls I play within my life… mother, wife, home maker, working girl and sometimes I have so many balls up in the air that I’m trying to juggle, that well, some of them simply fall down.

I have found that the key to keeping all the little balls up in the air is to be organized, super-duper organized, especially because I work reduced office hours, boring I know, but hey, it works and today was a reminder of just that.

I chose a super social weekend and did not get all my balls lined up in time for the starting gun on Monday morning and I suffered as a result. Today I had to do the following:

  • Go to work
  • Attend sales meeting
  • Check off all the items on my to do list at the office
  • Ensure that all my deliveries for this weeks Triple A releases are on track
  • Buy nappies
  • Buy new make up
  • Buy food for the week
  • Take Ava to swimming lessons
  • Cook supper for Ava
  • Cook supper for Walter and I
  • Write on my blog
  • Research more nursery schools for Ava
  • Book accommodation for our July holiday

Now normally, I wouldn’t need to be finding the time to be buying nappies, food & make up during a work week, but because I chose to start the week in such disarray, I have gotten off to a very bad start. After arriving at work this morning, I had 4 additional MAJOR to do items added to my already long to do list and it threw me into a total spin. Add to that, I’m reliant on others for the information in order to complete my 4 additional things on my to do list… and … well I had a day that went for a ball of shit.

I wound up so time urgent that I landed up leaving the office late, after only finishing the 4 items on my to do list, crying in the car on the way to the shops, while sending a sms to cancel Ava’s swimming lesson. Arriving home to find my child, sick, hungry and crying. Trying to get our dinner going, which was nothing no less than a full on lamb stew, while seeing to her dinner, all the while with my notebook set up in the kitchen, trying to do work in between. Shouting at my husband when he eventually did arrive home and now, sitting in our braai room, finally updating my blog while drinking wine and SMOKING!!!!! 🙁

Working Mom’s – please tell me I’m not alone in finding some days just so totally overwhelming?

The questions I need to answer for myself is why I put so much pressure on myself to be so much all of the time?