I have a dilemma! And its probably going to seem completelyover the top to some of you, but forgive me, I’m a very sensitive soul and I often feel moved to action my my own conscience and convictions. So here’s the problem.

My RE clearly does not realize the kind of sensitive person that I am, he told me something I was probably better off not knowing, its opened up a can of worms so to speak, one I’m not really sure how to deal with and I’ve made the situation far worse for myself than it needed to be.

You see, when we met with him a while back to discuss the way forward, he told me there were two medication options for the stimming protocol of my upcoming IVF. The first option he felt was not going to be the best for me specifically (he did give the reason why, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was) which would have been the use of Menopur, where he told me the main ingredient was Gonadotrophin extracted and purified from the urine of Menopausal women.  He felt that a combination of Luveris and Gonal Fwould be best for me especially because I”ve had good results from it before. He also mentioned that the main ingredient in Gonal F is Follitropin Alpha and that is is extracted from the Eggs of genetically engineered Chinese Hamsters.  Of course, being an avid Beauty Without Cruelty and PETAsupporter, I’m now feeling extremely conflicted about this. Of course, W has not helped either by stating that he thinks its highly unlikely that the Hamsters are humanely treated during this process. I know I’m probably sounding completely ridiculous, but this really bothers me. I hate any kind of cruelty, whether it be to humans or to animals.

The problem is, because of my over sensitivity to this topic, I’m not sure what to do next. You see, ignorance is bliss. I wish I could go back to being ignorant about it because then it wouldn’t bother my conscience the way it does. I know we don’t live in a perfect world and I know there is a lot of cruelty and things that go on that I’m probably better off not knowing about. But the thing is my over sensitivity to this topic has brought out some extreme behaviour on my part in the past for example:

After seeing a documentary on TV regarding the cruel way chickens were treated for Kentucky, I’ve completely boycotted their products for 5 years now. I have not knowingly allowed a single thing that has come from KFC to pass my lips, not a cool drink, not a chip, not mash, nothing. I also made the decision then and there to only eat Free Range Poultry products as their treatment is far kinder, subsequently, we have switched to all Free Range shopping. I’m also a strong believer in Beauty Without Cruelty and all my hair, body and face products are chosen because the companies who manufacture them are against animal testing. Again, I want to state that I know my stand on these issues probably makes very little difference, but for me personally, for my conscience, it makes me feel better to know that at least in my mind, as far as possible, I’m trying to shop in a most conscience, cruelty free manner.

So now the question is, do I tell my RE I want to switch to the Menopur protocol rather and risk having a lower egg harvest or do I go to battle with my conscience and try and pretend I haven’t been given that information.

Ignorance is bliss but knowledge is power, but this I wish I didn’t know.