Reaping What We Sow?

So my very first blog posting was about that expression: “The Wheel Turns…”  Its something that really bothers me. Its something I think about a lot. Every religion is full of contradiction when it comes to this. We talk about Karma, about reaping what we sow, and yet when it comes to bad things in our lives, we choose to comfort ourselves by saying we did nothing to deserve this. I know I comfort myself often by saying this is just one of those things that sometimes in life…………….

That bad things happen to good people. But there is always that nagging voice, what if I’m wrong? What if my infertility is not excluded from reaping what you sow/karma. What if my infertility is as pay back for something? But I really battle with that sentiment as well. As a Christian, I’m really torn between believing in reaping what you sow and a forgiving God. I especially battle with this issue when it comes to my infertility. Mostly, I just try avoiding this subject all together because I could debate this forever and I’m not sure I’d ever come to a conclusion, there are so many pieces of literature, of evidence, of faith in religion that pull me in ever direction possible. So mostly I just try to ignore this topic all together.

But every now and again, something will happen that will jolt me, that will bring this topic out of the hazy recesses of my mind and get me thinking about/obsessing over whether I’m living in pay back or shit just happening. Today is another example, I received an email this morning, one of those, if you don’t sent this to 8 people, you’re going to have 7 years of bad luck, actually, this one was one of those Christian ones, so it stated that I had to send the email to 8 people and tomorrow I’d get a miracle. Aaarrrgghhh, I hate emails like that! Anyway, back to the point, one part of the email was a bible verse that got me thinking:

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):

‘Be not deceived; God is not mocked:

For whatsoever a man sow,

That shall he also reap.

So as a Christian then, should I not be believing that I’m reaping what I have sowed? Should I not be believing that I have done something to deserve my infertility?

My brain is buzzing now, I’m just creating more questions that answers for myself with this post. I’d be interested to hear all of your opinions? Perhaps I can find some answers there or at least get some peace. Perhaps my biggest problem is that there are things from my past that I’m deeply ashamed of and that I feel guilty about and my battle with this issue has more to do with my guilt over things from my past.

Who knows???

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  • Reply Elize

    Interesting topic. I really battle with this as well. I think the operative word is ‘what’. What man sow he will reap. If you sow dishonesty, you will receive dishonesty. If you sow tears you will reap tears. If you sow love you will reap love. If you sow money/blessing you will reap it. That is how I’ve always seen it. I don’t think someone can sow infertility, unless maybe they wish it on someone. But that seems very unlikely.

    It would be interesting to know what the other people say about it, as I too have often wondered the same scenario. Did I sow tears, hurt and pain and I’m now getting it back. Most likely. I’m not perfect, I’ve hurt people. Did I sow loss and disease, I don’t think so. We do serve a loving and forgiving God, but He also chastises those He loves. Are we being chastised for something we did or are still doing wrong?

    I often feel like the Israelites where they circled the mountain for 40 years, a trip that should have just taken a few weeks, because of disobedience. My mom gets very cross with me when I start thinking this way, she says that it’s not what I’m doing or not doing, it just is. Like you said shit happens. So who knows Sharon. I have long gone past questioning God. All I know is that He is the author and finisher of our faith. Everything will work out according to His plan in our lives, and all we can do is have faith and believe. I’m still not sure if I should believe for a baby, or believe that He has my back. It’s all so very confusing to me.

    September 9, 2008 at 12:11 pm
  • Reply Murgdan

    I’m not the religious type…but I’ve often wondered if there’s something I’ve done to deserve this…but NO, we’ve just won the infertility jackpot is all.

    Hell, I’ve had a crazy past too…but I can promise you without a doubt my sister’s was crazier (and she’s got 4 kids to show for it). I love her and her kids, but when I think about her situation I must admit, being ‘deserving’ has absolultely nothing to do with it.

    I’ve sown good things. I’ve sown lots of laughs. I take CARE of people for a living.

    Besides. I guess it’s my husband’s “seeds” that aren’t sowing in me right now. Maybe I should question him about his past. 😉

    September 9, 2008 at 12:16 pm
  • Reply deerdv

    I read “Why bad things happen to Good people” by Harold Kushner which helps to answer a few things. Basically it says things just happen – randomly, as humans we always have to look for a reason, well sometimes there just isnt one. Ive basically lived a good life, Im good and kind to my fellow man, never really did anything bad or utterly terrible so then why am I stuck with the jackpot of infertility? Also remember that infertility effects a couple so does that mean that both people were utterly bad and deserve what they are getting? I dont think so.

    My best example of karma is when the guy who cut of his puppies head with a chain saw was found dead after a terrible car accident – with his head cut off. I definitely believe in karma – what goes around comes around, maybe not even in this lifetime. I just dont think that suffering from infertility has anything to do with karma, I dont see a link or else we would all be mothers.

    Good post!

    September 9, 2008 at 1:03 pm
  • Reply Marina

    I believe that if you are malicious and do bad things on purpose in your life, then it will come back and bite you in the @ss one way or the other, but I certainly do not believe that infertility falls into this. I don’t see it as a punishment, although I know sometimes it certainly feels like it! If it is then how come some drug addicts, alcoholics, child molesters and people who abandon their newborn babies can fall pregnant and have children with ease? We’re just unlucky I guess.

    September 9, 2008 at 1:43 pm
  • Reply Monica

    Man o man, Shaz. You sure do know how to get the conversation going! I’ve thought a lot about this type of thing, because the truth is, there are so many identity and self-worth issues tied in with pregnancy and, yes, fertility. Women who are pregnant and who carry a healthy baby to term have that look in their eye that says yup – everyone look at me and how happy and purposeful I am. Like, “God” obviously trusts me to do this important job, this job that clearly I was meant to do as a woman.

    When we as women fail to do that job, how can we not feel at fault in some way, ashamed for being reproductively wacked. Blaming ourselves is part of the grieving process, part of the pissed-at-the-world process. Several BOGS have told me that so it must be true.

    But thing is, all of that is a construct in the human mind, as far as I’m concerned, and we can choose to view it however we want. Yes, I think humans tend to rationalize, and this tit-for-tat philosophy makes sense from a rational standpoint. But on the other hand, who says that tit-for-tat is the way to view it anyway?

    Dude, I could go on and on about this, about religion, about women’s purpose in this life and what happens when we don’t get that “purpose” that nature seems to have cut out ofr us.

    In fact, Shaz, you’ve inspired a future blog post!

    Oh hey – regarding your comment on my last Palin/McCain ranting – again I’m frustrated w/Blogspot b/c you can’t respond to individual comments via e-mail – VOMIT! So I’ll tell you here – yes, abortion and all that jazz is a touchy subject. As for me, I know that the availability of choice has been what’s gotten me thru the tough times in my life, namely losing my son.

    September 9, 2008 at 5:43 pm
  • Reply Stacey

    I think this is a great topic for discussion! Thanks for bringing it up. I find your honesty about your feelings and experiences refreshing. I’m planning on blogging about a similar topic soon and have a great link to another blog that I can’t wait to share.

    As a fellow Christian I have also struggled with wondering if my infertility is a “punishment” or something I “deserve.” But I know that one of the fundamentals of Christianity is that God is merciful – He doesn’t give us what we deserve! His blessings are not conditional and we cannot earn His grace. I have no idea why bad things happen to good people or (for that matter) why good things happen to bad people. But I know that God is loving, merciful, and just, and we can rest in that knowledge! As far as reaping what we sow, I look at that as simply a reminder that our choices have consequences.

    Thanks for tackling the tough subjects! I love your blog.

    September 9, 2008 at 7:32 pm
  • Reply eggorchicken

    Wow, now that is a conversation opener 😉

    Firstly I can say with the utmost confidence that I don’t believe infertility is in any way a ‘punishment’ for anything. I think it’s plain and simply as you put it – shit happens.

    Secondly, Galations is in the Old Testament where God was still seen as a wrathful God, and someone to fear.. It is only in the New Testament after the birth of Jesus that we start to see God as a loving, forgiving God that wants only the best for us.

    Hugs. Stop blaming yourself.


    September 9, 2008 at 8:50 pm
  • Reply shawna

    That is my very favorite scripture verse. I once heard a preacher say that it could be considered a threat but that he felt like it was God’s way of making a promise to us. He said that God was telling us that we should not worry about the actions of others because God will not be mocked and He will take care of it. So, this is my go to verse when I am on the highway and someone cuts me off or when a fertile says something stinky or when I see someone treat their children badly. It is a comfort to me to be able to release my anger and annoyance to God and know that he has it all under control.

    Also, in response to your guilt question, I personally believe that John 3:16 trumps all other passages in relationship to guilt. If you believe in the healing power of Christ then you must also believe that your past sins have been forgiven. Of course, that doesn’t mean things are ever going to be easy. God doesn’t promise easy. He does promise to work all things for good.

    Now, I will be off to my corner to work on taking my own advice about releasing the guilt. So much easier said than done.

    September 9, 2008 at 11:03 pm
  • Reply Suzanna Catherine

    Talk about opening up a discussion! Great question, Sharon. I have grappled with these issues for most of my adult life. I don’t have an answer. I wish I had something pithy to add. I don’t. I personally believe that certain things in our lives are *random* and that we don’t *deserve* infertility, or recurrent miscarriages, or stillborn babies, or cancer or any of the other terrible things that can and do afflict us along the way. Maybe my motto is: Shit Happens. Maybe part of the answer is how we handle the things that happen.

    I love your blog, Sharon. You alway make me think.

    September 10, 2008 at 12:00 am
  • Reply samcy

    Hmmm, so I join the discussion late, but I do have something to say (when do I not?) as this is something that I have also been thinking about of late…

    Like Elize I believe that one needs to think in relation to what is being sown. Those who sow sparingly of their finances have a poor financial harvest, those who sow love and blessings receive them back in abundance…

    Personally I like to remember in the old testament days there were also “infertiles” who did not ask for barren wombs… many of them who ended up being blessed with children once they had traveled their journeys because we serve a merciful and God of grace… He never said it was going to be easy, but He did promise that he works in our lives for good ends.

    Of late I have been reminded that faith is the substance of things unseen and that if we hold onto the spiritual realm where things unseen and unheard of can happen then it will end for me – to good end not bad…

    We have all done things we are ashamed of (Hello Titanic!!) and that we can point back to and say “Crikey that is why this is happening to me” but in reality I think we need to focus on the fact that sometimes what we see as the detriment to us might just be the thing that saves us from a worse fate… but I am blathering now!

    Thanks for the thought provocation as always!


    September 10, 2008 at 3:19 pm
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