Relaxation & A Challenge

So yesterday I had my second SCIO/BioFeedback Session and as per last week it was completely fascinating. Pretty much everything that the machine has picked up so far was confirmed for me already via my FS with a bunch of blood tests and so far in terms of my fertility there don’t seem to be any major issues. In fact, there’s only one thing that comes up over and over again and its the one thing that makes an infertile see RED! In fact, initially I felt a bit let down but I’ve spent sometime reflecting on it over the past week and I’m really starting to think that perhaps there is something to the “Just Relax” theory. Now I can feel you all taking aim at me and preparing to fire, so I’m gonna take cover, but I feel I need to say this first. I don’t believe this necessarily applies to everyone, but I do think that perhaps it may apply to me.

For starters, my last pregnancy was achieved with the use of acupuncture assistance only, and I still maintain that it had something to do with relaxing me. Secondly, I’m a naturally high strung tense person. I’m a worrier by nature, I catch myself in the dead of night tossing and turning and thinking. I try to relax during a facial or a massage or even my SCIO sessions, but I catch myself thinking, worrying, wringing my “mental hands” together and thinking thinking thinking. I’ve realized I actually have no clue how to relax. I’ve tried meditation but guess what I land up doing? Yup you got it, I land up thinking! I almost constantly have a knot in my stomach, so much so its become a natural part of how I feel, I don’t know what it feels like not to have it. I wake up in the mornings and my shoulder and chest muscles are so tight from tension that its physically painful for me to relax and straighten my shoulders. My jaw always feels tight because of how I bite down on my teeth and I often catch myself holding my breathe!

In my SCIO session yesterday I was told to breathe, to really focus on my breathing, I also need to start exercising more to increase my oxygen flow because of my very bad habit of holding my breathe. The relaxation test was quite interesting, where most people score in the + range and a score of around +6 is considered extremely poor, my score was………………… -3000!!! Now I know this is true because I also have Hyperprolactanemai (elevated Prolactin levels) and my FS has stated implicitly that its my lifestyle and stress levels causing this and that this condition can result and battling to fall pregnant. My Adrenal function is also elevated according to both SCIO and Blood tests from my FS and again this is an indicator of stress.

So now my question to you all is this? How do I relax? Somebody please tell me how I switch my mind off so that I can relax and calm down a little. I know this must sound sick but I thrive on the temporary boost of energy that Adrenalin gives me, I always thought I thrived under pressure because I love it. I love my hands shaking mind racing as I work through whatever has caused the stress. But clearly, years of living like this are starting to take their toll on me and I need to figure out how I calm down. Any tips or advice would be helpful?

The second part of my blog posting today is kind of a challenge/public service announcement:

This weekend is Voter Registration weekend for our national elections next year. I know so many South Africans don’t bother with registration and don’t vote and this is an issue I feel extremely strongly about. Its our democratic right to vote, people died in our country, millions suffered for the right to vote and yet so many of us take this right fore granted and don’t exercise it. I also believe that if you don’t vote you don’t have a right to criticize of complain about the state of affairs in our country. I know so many people feel that their vote won’t make a difference, but guess what, if everyone of us committed to registering and then voting we could make a difference. I feel like we’re standing at the doors of change in our countries politics and now more than ever, every single vote WILL count, so please my dear friends, I challenge you all to go out and register to vote this weekend, will you take up my challenge?

If you’ve already registered and want to confirm your registration, go to the IEC’s website for more information. Its really easy, I confirmed my registration via SMS.

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  • Reply Tam

    I’ve come by to say sorry for being such a crappy blogger-buddy…I’m trying to get back into the swing of things…

    I have the same problem, I can never relax either. Even when I’m playing with Abi, I’m so happy but I’m clenching my jaw….horrible horrible feeling so I am very interested in the tips that you get…

    The SCIO sessions sound great, maybe it’s something I should try before our next venture into IVF…something to think about..

    We have to get together sometime soon, I’m missing you gals 🙂

    November 6, 2008 at 11:17 am
  • Reply Pixie

    Hi Sharon,

    I’m also constantly running around and a true worrier. My stress levels at work are like an 11 out of 10.

    I started reflexology in February and I cannot tell you how it’s changed my life. DH goes too, and he is a different person.

    Just a thought 😉

    Just a thought

    November 6, 2008 at 12:37 pm
  • Reply Michelle

    I can so relate to being stressed Shaz. I too worry too much about everything. I have the shoulders of an Olympic swimmer cos the muscles have developed from being tense all the time. I had to get a bite plate as I clench my teeth so hard when I sleep. So please, when you find the recipe to relaxing, please share it with us.
    Take care my friend.

    November 6, 2008 at 12:46 pm
  • Reply Sian

    ARGGH! I am anything but relaxed at the moment. So when you find the answer please can you share it with me. I also suffer from the painful neck and tight jaw.

    November 6, 2008 at 1:11 pm
  • Reply Shaz

    I’m starting to wonder from everyone’s responses if perhaps there isn’t something to this “Just relax and it will happen” response as well all seem to be overly tense! 🙂

    November 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm
  • Reply samcy

    Don’t kill me for saying this but exercise is one of the best stress relievers / relaxers… I don’t follow my own advise but I know it works…

    Also the whole breathing this has it’s merits deep breathes in and out when you’re feeling the pressure, it really does calm one down…

    Oh and try the muscle relaxation thing – good thing is you can do it at your desk… tighten your toes and release, tighten your calves and release – work your way up your whole body… it works!

    And regarding the challenge – I am already a registered VOTER… I will be putting my mark on that ballot and I will help shape the future of the country I love by doing it 🙂


    November 6, 2008 at 1:35 pm
  • Reply dee

    Dont have much advice for the relaxing part. Im generally quite relaxed but that could be due to copious amounts of wine – which I dont really recommend as a long term solution. 🙂

    I am definitely voting!

    November 6, 2008 at 3:40 pm
  • Reply Mands

    Not sure how to relax myself, Shaz, I’d say try the wine, with some tv and chocolates, but that’s only temporary,I think it’s a mind thing, not sure how exactly that works, but that’s my humble opinion.

    November 6, 2008 at 7:17 pm
  • Reply Kirsty Weaver

    Hi there!
    My tip for relaxing and breathing is…PILATES!!! Bonus – kill 2 birds with 1 stone here! It really relaxes you, teaches you how to breathe and relax thru your breathing – and an added bonus is a flat tummy!!!
    Send me an email if you want to know more!

    November 6, 2008 at 7:44 pm
  • Reply monica lemoine

    How to relax. Shaz, I wish I knew an answer – I’m constantly trying to do that myself. Hmmm. I’ve found it most beneficial to take 20 minutes each day to lie in a perfectly quiet room with my eyes closed, and picture plump fluffy lambs floating over my head. No other thoughts allowed.

    A glass of white zinfandle with my bare feet in K’s lap, him massaging my toes.

    November 6, 2008 at 10:02 pm
  • Reply Lea White

    How to relax? I’m not entirely sure either. I became more relaxed once we moved countries (not that that is necessarily a solotion). I do believe however, that stress can have an impact in various areas of our lives. I had to teach myself that when I go to sleep, that’s what I’m going to do – sleep. Not think about tomorrow, until tomorrow. And if I had problems falling asleep, then I count slowly in my mind backwards from 100 to zero and if I catch my mind drifting, then I pull myself back to my counting. Because you are not allowed to think during the counting.

    I also enjoy relaxing in a bubble bath watching one Gilmore Girl episode after another and right now trying to make a Memory quilt for somebody (even though my knowledge of making a quilt at the moment goes as far as cutting out blocks).

    Some people say your bed could make a difference in whether you have a good sleep or not and that if you find you did not have a good sleep then it might be time to change that mattress. Not sure if this is true or not, only what I read about

    November 7, 2008 at 2:24 am
  • Reply Olga

    Hi Sharon

    I’ve never commented before on your blog but I do read it often. I also a type-A personality and a few years ago I took up yoga and it has changed my life … I am not kidding. It’s taught me to be in the moment and to learn to quieten the voices in my head (everyone has those right?). I can highly recommend it. I remain convinced that it’s the reason I fell pg with my son 4 years ago and had the easiest pregnancy and birth ever. I do Iyengar yoga (see for more info) and it’s not all chanty and weird like some other forms of yoga can be. Time constraints mean I can’t go as often now as I’d like to, but I can seriously recommend it for relaxing. It also does wonders for your muscle tone and core strength – an added bonus!

    Good luck!

    November 7, 2008 at 10:27 am
  • Reply C

    Relax, relax, what is that…………..????? It is a big problem for me, every medical professional I have ever seen has told me that I am stressed, anxious & a worrier. Tell me when you find a solution, I think it will solve many of my problems. Good Luck!

    Definitely voting, always do. I can even walk there as it is at the community centre.

    November 7, 2008 at 12:02 pm
  • Reply Laura

    Hi again Sharon, I am really enjoying keeping up with what’s happening with you and your SCIO treatments (yay, google alerts!). Ask your therapist if he could do an autonomic nerve balance for you and even a brainwave balance. I have found with my clients – they are great to help us get out of the pattern of stressing! The rest of the advise here, is perfect – exercise (sometimes a dirty word), in whichever form suits you best, keep trying the meditation bit….oh, and be good to yourself. If you don’t get it right, don’t beat yourself up!

    You have permission to have the rest of the weekend off! Put your feet up and get hubbie to do the work!

    Best wishes

    November 7, 2008 at 6:43 pm
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