I am turning 39 in two weeks time. In a year, I will be 40 and I’ll have a 2 year old and the question I’ve been pondering for sometime now, is what is societies (and other mom’s) big hang up with older mothers?
I’ve heard so many comments about older mothers and sometimes they just plain and simple irritate me. I’ve been told (yes, directly to my face) by an acquaintance, when she was pregnant with her 1st child, she now has 2 children, that her and her husband had decided to start trying for a family straight after getting married because, well, and I quote: “they did not want to land up like you, older, with problems and then being an older mother!” WTF?? Seriously, that was said to my face. My initial reaction was to slap her! But then I remembered, she was just young and clearly stupid! *snigger*
Since Ava’s birth, people, actually other mothers, have seemed surprised by my age. What??? You turn 40 next year? NO! With such a small child?
A colleague (who reads my blog and will probably read this post 🙂 *waves hello*) was also telling me about an altercation she’d had with another mother at her babies day care, at the time, she had innocently commented to me: “You know, she’s that type of mother… she’s 40 and has a 2 year old!” erm… *raises hand* I’ll be 40 with a 2 year old.
This morning while listening to the radio, I overheard a whole discussion about Kim Kardashian’s engagement and the speculation that she may be pregnant. They were talking about her not wanting to be an “older” mother. But it was said with the same tone of disdain that is almost always used when the worlds older and mother appear together.
I’m really interested to know what societies big issue is with older mothers?
I see it as a benefit to be an older mother. I look back on myself as a 20 something or even as a 30 year old and I can quite honestly say, a lot happens in terms of maturity and confidence around the mid 30’s that should be seen as beneficial towards motherhood and not a negative thing.
If 40 is the new 30 and God knows, I certainly don’t feel almost 40, I don’t even feel 30, then there really should be no issue.
Aside from feeling as though I was far more emotionally ready to deal with the challenges of a child, as an older mother, both Walter and I are also far more established and in a far better position to raise a child than what we were 10 years ago – of course, some people may turn this into a negative thing but lets be honest, while money doesn’t buy happiness, it does buy things like good education.
So my question is… why the negativity towards older mothers?
Footnote – these are just my thoughts and are by no means meant to negatively reflect on young mothers.