The Day I’ve Been Dreading….

I knew it was coming, it really was just a matter of time!

Two weeks ago Ava had tonsillitis again, for about the 10th time in the last 6 months and probably about the 15th time since she had it first at 9 months old. We did the usual, off the Dr, another round of Antibiotics, another round of cortisone. And within a couple of days madam was back to normal. Good!

Then this weekend we moved and on Sunday all the tell-tale signs started again. General grumpiness, sleep interruptions, running nose, chesty cough, refusal to eat or drink and the biggest warning sign of all, the smelly breath – tonsillitis again! For the second time in two weeks!

We were finally referred to an ENT and yesterday was our appointment. When we walked into the Dr’s rooms, before we even started our discussion with him, he noted that Ava clearly had enlarged adenoids as she was mouth breathing. I mentioned to him she also snored so badly, all the time, that she can compete with the loudest chainsaw. He looked in her ears and thankfully all was clear there. It’s been our saving grace all along, Ava is not prone to ear troubles at all, because I cannot imagine having to deal with that on top of her endless bouts of tonsillitis.

He slipped on his head torch and prepared a tongue depressor to take a look in her throat. We had been coaching my sweet little girl all afternoon about how she should open her mouth, wide like a crocodile, so that the Dr can look at her throat and before he even was near her, she did exactly that, opened her mouth wide like a crocodile and his exact words were:

“Right, no need for the tongue depressor or to even look further, those tonsils need to come out!”

Apparently Ava’s tonsils were once again covered in pustules from the infection and they’re also so scarred that we’ve reached the point of no return, it’s time for them and the adenoids to come out. The tonsil removal will resolve all her health issues and the adenoid removal will resolve the snoring and bouts of sleep apnea, which have kept me awake at night, listening, ears straining, each time I hear her stop breathing, waiting for her to give a big grunting snort and start breathing again.

I would really have liked to have had her surgery as soon as possible, but because of Walter’s exam schedule and all the public holidays over the next month, the first available date is the 2nd May.

I know we’ve made the right decision. I know she’s going to be so much better after the surgery. I know it will improve the quality of her life. I know it will improve the quality of all of our lives. I know it’s a low risk surgery. I know millions of mom’s have been through this exact same thing, all around the world but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m TERRIFIED!

When you battle infertility, and more specifically recurrent pregnancy loss, you learn a rather hard lesson in life – worst case scenario can and does happen. I don’t have the luxury of burying my head in the sand and innocently assuming all will be fine. With any anaesthetic there is an element of risk, this really terrifies me. Add to that, Ava being adopted, we don’t have much information on her predisposed medical conditions, I don’t know if she’s could have inherited a bleeding disorder and all of this add’s up to the fact that I’m TERRIFIED!

So now we need to get through the next month with this hanging over our heads, living with fear being my ruling emotion for the next 4 weeks till we can get this next, rather unpleasant milestone behind us!


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  • Reply Zah

    Saying a little prayer and sending a {BIG HUG} especially to you.

    April 5, 2012 at 11:08 am
  • Reply blackhuff

    Good luck with the coming surgery and I’m sure everything will go good. You’re right – this is the best thing to do.

    April 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm
  • Reply Cat@jugglingactoflife

    I will certainly keep you in our prayers. With our L the ENT decided to do adenoids and grommets ( he had no ear issues) in stead of the tonsils because he was so tiny at that stage and they are lower risk than tonsils. It ” bought ” us almost 3 tonsilitus free years and then we took them out last year at 4. But honestly, it has changed his life. He is so much better. Here’s hoping it will be the same for you.

    April 5, 2012 at 5:28 pm
  • Reply Pandora

    Shame poor little angel. Even though it is for the best it is so hard to do. Praying for you all.
    I totally understand, I dread trying new medications or antibiotics each time, especially since there was some baby eczema, and I don’t know if it is over, or if it will flare up again, or if she is prone to allergies. So far not.

    April 5, 2012 at 6:49 pm
  • Reply Amber

    I was like she was when I was little, but it was at a time when they weren’t doing tonsillectomies on little ones. I have had tonsil issues EVER since. I soooo wish I had them out as a child! I know you will all make it through just fine!

    April 5, 2012 at 7:10 pm
  • Reply Trish Drama Queen

    I am so sorry Sharon and I completely understand your terror, I wish you lots of luck and hope all goes okay. I must admit that prior to my son having to have major plastic surgery at 3 mths it hurt a bit when normally supportive people were surprising blase and unconcerned. Like they acted as if a baby under anesthetic for 6 hours or more with a whole surgery team was normal and ordinary with nothing major to worry about (the same people who freaked out and called specialists when their child broke a baby tooth)- huh it was totally NOT normal for MY child to be in surgery and I was freaking out and the only people who could understand my extreme fears were dh and our folks and other parents waiting for their babies to go into surgery.It is still my scariest worst experience that was 100%necessary to get a great outcome, and I know you are supposed to focus on the positive outcome to not upset people but I felt as if I was the only wierdo scared shitless so I stopped talking about it. i hope you know feeling scared is normal, and some people will get how hard it is carrying a child into an operating room while knowing surgery will most probably be absolutly fine.Praying for your family!

    April 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm
  • Reply Sue Stuart

    No matter that millions have done it before, it’s YOUR little one going into theater and that’s different. Hope it all goes well and resolves all those issues.

    April 6, 2012 at 7:22 am
  • Reply Laura-kim Allmayer

    ((hugs)) I get this totally!

    She will be fine though 🙂

    April 6, 2012 at 2:21 pm
  • Reply Jenty

    Completely get this…. I was terrified too when Connor had to have his removed, but it was seriously the best thing we ever did

    April 7, 2012 at 11:13 pm
  • Reply Robyn

    When it is YOUR baby, going through any kind of truama, OF COURSE it is terrifying. I will be praying for Ava on this day.. and for you of course. We trust God for a successful op and speedy recovery. xx

    April 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm
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