The Day The Universe Changed

Started out like any other, well almost. I’d woken up early and was sitting in my Dad’s study, about to start writing a blog posting about our meeting with our birth mum that had happened on Saturday evening.Β  The meeting had been amazing. I LOVE our birth mum, she’ smart, intelligent, funny, loving, strong and very very very brave. Both W and I were feeling a million times better and a million times more confident after meeting her. I’d just dialed into my parents connection when my cell phone rang, it was 05h50 and it was our social worker and this is what she said:

“I told you I know my job! ….. is in labour, contractions are 10 minutes apart. Take your time but get to the hospital as soon as you can.”

I went racing down the passage, flung open the bedroom door and yelled at W to get his ass out of bed. He did what all men with women in labour, he got this wild look in his eyes and started to panic slightly. We eventually arrived as the hospital at at just after 7am. Where we were met by our SW. She informed us that our BM was only 1cm dilated and it was still going to be a while. That we should leave, go have some breakfast and she’d call us to come back when the time came.

Just after 9am she sent me a message to say we should come quickly. We’d been wondering around the mall trying to find the perfect gift for our BM. We’d eventually settled on Memory beads with a bracelet and had carefully selected beads that signified the miracle unfolding in front of us. We also liked the memory beads as it made it possible for us to add goodies to the bracelet with each defining moment in Ava’s life.

Just as we arrived back at the hospital, our SW called me to come into the birth room. I was totally overwhelmed by the pain our brave BM was in. She was in full active labour and there were almost no breaks in between contractions. All I could do was cry each time she was gripped by another painful contraction. This brave woman gave birth without any pain medication. Between the SW and I we took turns in holding her hand as she writhed from the contractions. About 10 minutes in she started shouting she needed to push. The SW quickly went to call some nurses to assist in the delivery. That’s when things got really interesting.They went to call W to witness the birth and he almost past out just standing at the door listening to the screams of our BM. He refused to come in and said he’d rather stand at the door and wait for the babies birth and I”m glad he did.

For starters, there was no dignity in the situation for our wonderful BM and despite her assurances that he could be there, I’m not sure either of them would have been comfortable. Secondly, W is fairly squeamish, he couldn’t even assist me with an IVF injection, so I reckon he would have past out at some point during the birth.

This is where is got interesting and things started to happen really fast. There were two nurses in the room, each one supporting our BM’s legs and feet to help her brace for pushing. The nurses were wonderfully, talking her through each push, explaining when she had to push and when not to push to avoid tearing. After only a couple of pushes, they were calling me to stand at the base of the bed and see the babies head start to emerge. It was amazing to see, all I could see what this tuft of very dark straight hair. Our BM was a trooper and in a matter of minutes the rest of the babies body simply slipped out. I was SO in awe of what I’d witnessed that I didn’t hear the nurses say its a girl. I only realized it was a girl when our BM took my hand and said to me: ” Look Sharon, its your daughter”. I start crying every time I think about that beautiful gesture. I will love this woman forever because of what she’s given us. That was when the nurse handed me a set of clippers and I cut Ava’s cord!

Within seconds Ava had been cleaned off and handed to me to take her outside to show W. I could barely see her I was crying so much. And when W saw her, he too was completely overcome with emotion and the two of us had a good sob. She was then whisked off to the nursery to get weighted etc. She weighted 2.9kg’, was 49cm in length and had a 34cm head circumference. Her Agpar on the second score was 9. The nurses dressed her and brought her back to me and by this time our amazing BM was showered and dressed and sitting with me. W went to buy her some KFC because all she was craving was a coke and some junk food. We had a great chat and spent a little more time getting to know each other.

The past week has gone by in a complete blur. I am still coming to grips with the whole birth and with our whirlwind adoption – from the time of the assessment to the time of Ava’s birth, it was only 4 weeks in total!!! Pretty much unheard of.

SV400024

62 Comments

  • Lea White

    December 18, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    Oh Sharon! I cried from start to finish as I read this blog post. You will never ever know exactly how much I am happy for you! I prayed so hard for you to have your miracle. To have your moment and here it is! You were always meant to be a mother. Just look at her staring up at you, her mommy and her daddy!

    Reply
  • Chopper1

    December 18, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Oh Sharon!!! I’ve been waiting very (im)patiently for this news! Congratulations – I’m not sure if she could be anymore perfect. What an immense love she must’ve brought into your lives in a matter of seconds. I’m so in awe. You have totally inspired me and I now realise just how special adoption can be – it was a topic I was completely petrified of.
    Be happy.
    xxxxx

    Reply
  • Zeu

    December 18, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Snot and trane this side of the screen!
    She is an absolute angel sent from Heaven. You are all so blessed to have each other! Cherish each other, every day!

    Welcome home Ava Grace.

    Reply
  • Charmi

    December 18, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    I too have been refreshing your blog 10 times a day – couldnt wait for your update! Jissie man – you made me cry snot en trane on this Friday afternoon!! SHE IS GORGEOUS!! I have no words that can possibly make you or Walter more proud or more happy. Just know that I am so so so happy for you guys!!

    Reply
  • Caroline

    December 18, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    This is just totally amazing!! I am So Very Happy for you both πŸ˜€
    Ava is just a perfect, beautiful little girl. I am sure that she has and still will bring you immense Joy and Happiness. CONGRATULATIONS again!!

    Reply
  • Abs

    December 18, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    What a stunning birth story Shaz. The BM sounds like an amazing woman with a wonderfully big heart. Ava is going to be such a special little girl with a very special mom & Dad. I couldn’t be happier for you guys. This has just been the most beautiful, inspirational story. Such a happy ending!! I can’t wait to meet your little angel xxxx

    Reply
  • SassyCupcakes

    December 18, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    This is so amazing. I am teary reading it. And I love that photo of you both with your little girl. The love is so evident. I’ve said it a billion times and I’ll say it again, I am so so happy for you all. I really would love to hear all about your little girl growing up, but I understand your need for privacy.

    Reply
  • Robyn

    December 18, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    Your journey is so inspirational – thank you for sharing it with us. You can’t help but be moved by such an incredible story. Hopefully one of these days I will be able to read a post of yours and not cry.

    Reply
  • Mash

    December 18, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    I have been checking your blog every 5 minutes for days, I couldn’t wait to hear the story! How fantastic, and what an amazing BM – like an angel. I’m totally amazed by this whole story, and have tears in my eyes. Lots of love to all of you.

    Reply
  • Daryl

    December 18, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    All I can say is WOW. What an incredible experience that must have been and what a brilliant BM you have, to have allowed you to share so intimately in such a special moment. I am wiping the tears away as I read this, so can only imagine what it must have been like for you witnessing it all. Congrats again. I am so so happy for you and W.

    Reply
  • Beth

    December 18, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    Oh Sharon, what an amazing experience.. Cannot believe how precious yr baby is, and how amazing yr birth mother was to you.
    Enjoy this very special time.

    xxx

    Reply
  • Susan

    December 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    Sharon, thanks for sharing. I’m sure you know this is a hard subject for me, but I am willing to put my own reservations and past experiences aside and be happy for you both, so congratulations! Your right, 4 weeks is unheard of. Will you ever see the BM again? Is everything closed from this point on? How has things been since you got home? Were you able to get off from work okay? Are you breastfeeding? Please keep us all updated. You are loved.

    Reply
  • Elize

    December 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    My heart just melted when I saw the pic of the 3 of you! You two look so happy! The birth experience sounds amazing and you’re BM sounds like a remarkable lady. Happy days my friend!

    Reply
  • SCY

    December 18, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    My friend this post has made me tear up yet again, I am so overwhelmingly happy for you and W – I am so grateful to God that He has filled your empty arms and has healed your heart with this amazing gorgeous child.

    I am so honored to know that I am going to her “honorary aunty” and cannot wait to see her grow into the woman I know you guys will help her become.

    I love you all.

    xxx

    Reply
  • Gail

    December 18, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    Wow, wow, wow! Congratulations! She is beautiful. It is so amazing that you were able to be involved in the birth.Wishing you and your family all the happiness in the world.

    Reply
  • Atj

    December 18, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    congrats on the birth of your darling daughter. tears in my eyes as I write this – your journey has been an incredible triumph of human spirit and of your marriage – may the years ahead be kind to you and brimming with laughter and tears of happiness …take care x

    Reply
  • Stacey

    December 18, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    Congratulations, my friend! I am overjoyed for you and W. What an absolutely gorgeous baby girl she is. Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly along the way. I’ve been blessed by so much that you’ve written here, and it is great to have blog friends to share with. I just couldn’t be happier for you, Sharon. Enjoy every second! To God be the glory!

    Reply
  • Yvonne

    December 19, 2009 at 8:10 am

    Shaz I am so unbelievably happy for you, and proud of you. Ava is BEAUTIFUL and I KNOW she’ll bring you immeasureable joy.

    Please keep updating about her (when you get a chance, lol) I’m dying to know how life with a newborn is treating you.

    LOADS of love,
    xx

    Reply
  • Hela

    December 19, 2009 at 9:57 am

    She’s beautiful, Sharon!And such a gorgeous name! And to read the birth story is amazing and so glad you have such a special memory of her birth with you forever! Cannot explain how unbelievably happy we all are for you!

    May you enjoy your journey of motherhood! The first month can be a big blur (but not as much as the first week)Just cherish every moment being Mom & Dad!

    Sending lots of hugs!

    Reply
  • Bumble

    December 19, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    Congratulations on your beautiful new daughter, she’s perfect! What an amazing BM to have given you such a precious gift and in such a special way. I love the memory bracelet idea, I’m sure it’ll mean the world to her. Thanks for writing your story x

    Reply
  • Sue

    December 19, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ how awesome is that! Huge congratulations to you all, and praise God for the unselfishness of the BM in firstly deciding to carry her, and then to give her the best parents she can!

    Reply
  • Sue

    December 19, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    PS the memory bracelet is a super idea! I have a Trollbeads one (I imagine it must be along similar lines) and we have ordered a K for our as yet unborn LG, and also an N as a memory and in honour of Nathan.

    Reply
  • Dee

    December 19, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    What a stunning story. A HUGE, MASSIVE congrats on “reaching the other side”! Im so glad that you were able to be involved with Ava’s birth, and NO meds, gees that is amazing! Enjoy absolutely every second!
    xxx

    Reply
  • Kirsty

    December 19, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    Sharon – what a stunning, stunning birth story! So glad you witnessed your baby girl coming into the world! How very, very special.
    I cannot wait to see you and gorgeous Ava! I know it sounds corny… but your face – especially your eyes (and W’s) have changed since the arrival of Ava. The pics on FB show a spark that I had not previously seen! I am in awe of how this adoption panned out… you most certainly had a helping hand from above x

    Reply
  • C

    December 20, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    Wow this brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you and Walter. Life certainly has changed for you, your future with your beautiful family is filled with so much love joy and happiness. Sorry could not make yesterday, quite hectic here. Will chat soon as I need to drop off gifts and meet little Ava.

    Reply
  • Hanneke

    December 21, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Oh Sharon,

    You and W have a beautifull little baby girl, congrats congrats congrats congrats !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have such a stunning birth story and it is so great that you where involved in everything!!!

    Reply
  • Julia

    December 21, 2009 at 8:39 am

    I read this post about 50 times this weekend and it made me tear up everytime. I am so so happy for you and your hubby. What a wonderful gift the BM has given you.
    Congratulations Mom and Dad. And enjoy this special time. It’s going to get better and better..xxx

    Reply
  • CalT

    December 21, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Wow, what a beautiful story. You had me in tears. Not many people realise just how special BM’s are. What a thoughtful gesture of her, and what a brave lady she is.

    Reply
  • sassy

    December 25, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    Hi Sharon, I just wanted to stop by and wish you a Merry Christmas. I haven’t been online lately as my dad is here from the US and I’m busy taking care of him, but I just caught up on your latest posts… Ava is beautiful. I love this story, and your BM sounds so special. I’m so glad you got to be there, and I really wish you a wonderful holiday with your gorgeous daughter!!!

    PS, sssh… but we’re starting our adoption proceedings in January. MB and I have been reading you story, and sincerely, I think it was just the kick in the butt we needed. I don’t expect it to go as quickly, but at least we can begin to turn a page. Thank you.

    Reply
  • Shan

    January 29, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Wow Sharon, today is the first time I have read your blog and I haven’t moved from my laptop all afternoon. This is such a beautiful story, I have have been drizzing from start to finish! Looking forward to the next post!

    Reply

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