It’s a lesson I’m learning. Its quite ironic, we (I) fight against it because I can’t seem to get it through my thick skull that forgiveness is for me and not for the other person but I’ve had another lesson in it this week when I chose to forgive my friend and ask her to forgive me for the way I’d behaved. Its weird how its a process, you don’t just land up there, but you have to work through the stages of your anger and grief to be able to come to a place where your recognize and accept that you need to forgive in order to move on and set yourself free from the anger that holds you back inside.
As it turns out contacting my friend, who I haven’t laid eyes on or spoken to in nearly 4 years, was one of the greatest things I could have done for myself. I feel lighter and happier having shaken that monkey off my back, in addition, her response was wonderful, loving and warm and way more than I anticipated. We have been emailing each other backwards and forwards and have shared quite openly and honestly on a lot that has happened in both our lives over the past 4 years. We’re also taking the 1st tentative steps towards possibly rebuilding our friendship by meeting for lunch on Saturday.
I’m very nervous but very excited at the same time!