The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Wrap

The Hug-a-bub - a symbol of support for infertile mom's

Walter and I received many gifts after Ava was born, we were spoiled rotten. From family and friends to people we did not know but who were touched by our story, the gifts came flooding in and over a very extended period, Ava was 6 months old and we were still receiving welcome gifts for her. We also received a number of gifts from all over the world from fellow IF sisters and blog mates. We got gifts from America, from Europe, from New Zealand and Australia. All of these gifts were such a blessing to us as we were so completely unprepared for Ava’s rapid arrival in our lives.

One of the gifts in particular, the hug-a-bub, was a life saver for my sanity in the early weeks of Ava’s life. For those of you who have been reading since that time will know, we really struggled to settle. Ava was collicky, she had constipation and she battled with her sleep routines and generally settling into life outside of the womb. She was easily overstimulated and would go for weeks at a time without having any day time sleep. I was shattered and on the verge of loosing my mind completely when the hug-a-bub arrived and saved my sanity and gently lulled Ava into life outside the womb. It is, in my opinion, the very best of all the bay carriers and slings for newborns, none of the others worked for us the way the hug-a-bub did. Something about having Ava’s body pressed firmly against mind, with her head nestled between my breasts, calmed her and soothed her like nothing else did.

A few month later Lisa-Marie received her magical phone call to say they had been selected by a birth mom and would be having a baby girl too. I knew how difficult the road ahead would be for her as they’d also waited a very short time for their adoption placement and I wanted to give her something that would be a blessing for her too and the one thing that kept coming to my mind was the hug-a-bub. I sent it to her with a note to say that I hoped she wouldn’t be offended that it was second hand, but that I wanted her to have something that was such a blessing to me and that I hoped it would be a blessing to her to. It turned out to be a lifesaver for Lisa-Marie too.

My only request when sending hug-a-bub was that it be payed forward. So when Lisa-Marie was finished with it, I wanted her to pass it on to another extra special baby. Of course, all babies are special, but I wanted this wrap to be come a symbol of the love and support of our infertility community. I wanted it to be used for babies who were born against all odds, babies miraculously born to couples who thought they’d never conceive, babies born through the miracle of adoption, or surrogacey. Real extraordinary miracle babies.

In December I received a message from a fellow IF sister, informing me that Lisa-Marie had handed the hug-a-bub over to her as she was expecting a baby boy, against all odds, conceived after a long fertility journey. I was so touched that this seemingly small gift was being “payed forward” as I’d hoped it would be.

Then yesterday, I logged on to Facebook and received this message from Mommy-in-Waiting:

Hi Sharon,

I just wanted to let you know where your wrap carrier for Ava has ended up. Having gone via Lisa-Marie and Lesley, it has now been passed to me!

So special to have the use of a special symbol of the support our community has given and keeps giving to each other.

It will be in safe hands and I look forward to passing it on the the next person who starts the happy journey of parenthood.

Juanita (HopefullyTTC)

I have been thinking about this since last night and have suggested that we do one of two things with the wrap:

  1. On the inside seam of the wrap, we write the names and birth dates of all these precious little babies who have used this wrap.
  2. We start a notebook that gets passed along with the wrap, where we write the our names, babies names and birth dates and messages to future users of the wrap. That way, when the wrap has worn out, the message book can be past along with something equally as useful as the old wrap would have been.
For those of you who have used the wrap or are going to use the wrap, which one would do you think is best?
I am so touched and so pleased to be apart of something seemingly so small that is offering so much to women just like me. And I’m so excited to hear who will be blessed with it next!
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  • Reply Sue Stuart

    Oh I am so thrilled that Hopefully/Hopelessly are having a baby! I no longer go onto the forum but I remember them and their journey well. So whether their baby is coming to them via adoption or ART or conceived naturally, I am just delighted to read your blog posting today!

    My 2c worth would be the notebook…..

    PS I was chatting to friends who are now on an adoption waiting list and they were wondering how it would “feel” to receive a baby via adoption – whether the love for the baby would be the same as a child born to them biologically. I don’t know whether the purpose of the whole trauma with Nathan is to help such couples, but I could confidantly share with them that the love we had for Nathan, and the love we have for Katy, is absolutely no different. The feelings we had for Nathan were very real indeed, just the same as we now have for Katy.

    August 11, 2011 at 9:00 am
    • Reply To Love Bella

      I’m going to butt in, if I may!! 🙂
      The feeling took me by surprise – having been worried about the very same thing for so long!! I love my Isabella more than I ever imagined I could love another being. You totally forget about genetics – they become meaningless in the face of it all.

      August 11, 2011 at 9:13 am
      • Reply Sharon

        Suzy, while your situation with the loss of Nathan must have been heartbreaking, I agree, it must me wonderful to be able to use that experience to offer comfort!
        And LM, I agree with you too, there is no way possible that I could love Ava anymore than I already do.
        The adoption process was so special that it totally made up for everything that I may have missed with a pregnancy.
        I don’t think of Ava as my adopted daughter, she is simply my daughter and I love her so much it’s as if I birthed her myself!

        August 11, 2011 at 10:49 am
  • Reply To Love Bella

    Sharon, I LOVED the wrap and to this day, I miss that closeness I had with Isabella. I can never thank you enough for those special times – and for the life-saving aspect!! The only time she left it was when she had a bath, and during her night sleeps. Oh, and of course when it had to get washed and tumble dried!! People used to stop me at the shops, asking about this “amazing thing”.

    I love the idea of writing names in the wrap! And the notebook too!! Why not do both?

    August 11, 2011 at 9:07 am
  • Reply Mommy In Waiting

    I am all for both! I will write the names and dates of birth of Ava, Bella and Alex in. Sharon, can you start the notebook and pass it along in order and I will keep it going.

    And thank you again!

    August 11, 2011 at 9:56 am
  • Reply Lesley

    Yeah I agree with TLB, let’s do both! And lets’ make the notebook awesome 🙂 Can I nominate myself to get the notebook? I’ll bring it to Jhb at the beginning of September and will then ferry it to LM and to J Let’s each include a photo of us and our little ones wearing the wrap. yay I love a project 🙂 We can also incude our e-mail addresses in the notebook so that when it is passed on, we all get an email from the new wrapper. May the wrap live long and be filled with many happy babies.

    August 11, 2011 at 9:56 am
  • Reply tzipieastwest

    Wonderful idea Sisters !!
    Goosebumps ….

    August 11, 2011 at 11:43 am
  • Reply Marcia (123 blog)

    what a wonderful idea!

    August 11, 2011 at 11:58 am
  • Reply MommyInWaiting

    I’m getting all emotional and teary at the thought of how special the book will be!

    August 11, 2011 at 12:05 pm
  • Reply Nisey

    I am in tears (i have pms so excuse me please) that is such an amazing and beautiful gesture – that is the most priceless gift any mom could receive good on all of you…

    August 11, 2011 at 12:17 pm
  • Reply darylfaure

    What a stunning idea and gesture! Love it.

    August 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm
  • Reply Laura Allmayer

    I use the Tigo – basically the same thing and its a life saver of note!!

    Mine was also paid forward to me 🙂

    August 11, 2011 at 1:49 pm
  • Reply mrssee2

    What a fab idea! And how cool that such a small thing can go such a long way. I also think you should do the notebook and the names inside. And you should put your address in the book so when the pouch is threadbare it can be sent back to you as a little symbol of how many people you helped.

    On a slightly different note, how is motherhood treating Lesley? I haven’t seen any postings from her and wondered.

    Agree with Sue about Hopefully/Hopelessly and the imminent arrival of their double trouble!!! So exciting.

    Sorry, hijacked your post completely here.

    August 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm
  • Reply St. Elsewhere

    So amazed to read the story of that wrap, and so glad it has brought so much comfort to these babies….my best wishes are now with the latest holder of that wrap….I hope her babies will love it (she is expecting twins).

    I would love to go with both suggestions…..that is do both the things, the notebook as well as mention on the inside of the wrap.

    August 11, 2011 at 8:19 pm
  • Reply Hanneke

    I Love the idea, having a newborn is so precious, yet so unknown!

    August 12, 2011 at 4:23 am
  • Reply Hayley

    Oh wow…how special! Love it!

    August 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm
  • Reply waiting4amiracle

    Excellent idea and so very special. I’m hoping it finds its way to me. 🙂

    August 15, 2011 at 10:33 am
  • Reply Julia

    Very, very special. Love it.x

    August 20, 2011 at 6:57 pm
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