Somehow I’m not surprised that since passing through the gates of the ttc’er infertile to the mother after infertility, the stupid pearls of wisdom that people offer up are still coming. So brace yourself, this is a bit of a ranty post, but I need to get something off my chest, in a safe environment, otherwise, I’m likely to be rather unpleasant or downright rude to some unthinking sob out there in the real world.
So, here’s the deal. Sausage is NOT second best. She is the most beautiful child, hand picked for us by God. She is the greatest gift anyone can ever imagine. We did not just have a baby (note I’m not taking away anything from mom’s out there that have babies, just illustrating that there is a special kind of magic to adoption) Her birth mum placed a huge responsibility on mine and W’s shoulders, one we take extremely seriously, we love our child, this child, with every fiber of our beings, I would die to save this child. She has come into our lives and in 3 short weeks she has changed me in ways that I never knew possible. My priorities, the things that are important to me, the way I think, everything has changed since this beautiful child came into our lives. Our child.
She is NOT a means to an end, she is not a cure of infertility and she is not a fertility idol. So STOP with the BULL SHIT that now I’ll fall pregnant and have a child of my own. I have a child of my own! The most perfect child of my own, how dare you insult her and devalue her in such a manner.
And the self same people that keep making this stupid, insensitive statement are shocked and horrified to hear I’m on the pill and considering going onto the injection or getting a Merina in the next couple of months. They simply cannot understand why I don’t have a baby of my own now! They cannot see that I do have a baby of my own, the most precious child and it hurts me deeply when people say these stupid, unthinking and insensitive statements.
There are some lessons infertility has taught me that will never be unlearned, one of those is to think before I speak and to consider the possible answers before asking someone a question that could be hurtful or insensitive!