We have an IVF/FET Hitlist on our Forum.

Its a place where everyone puts in the months that they’re scheduled for IVF/FET. I’ve not looked at it before, mostly because its been a year and a half since my last IVF.  I don’t know what made me do it, but today I looked at it, and now I regret it. Its made me a bit scared to be totally honest. The stats are just not great!

Since Agust 2008 we’ve had 52 IVF’s or FET’s listed.

Of that, only 14  confirmed BFP’s!!!!!!

We’ve had 22 BFN’s!

We’ve had 7 cycles cancelled, I’ve had a cancelled IVF before, its devastating.

We’ve had 4 miscarriages or chemical pregnancies.

And we’ve got 5 IVF’s that we don’t know the results of.

Those are NOT GREAT statistics. Its making me really really nervous to climb back onto the crazy roller coaster. But as terrified as I am for myself, I’m also more terrified for W. He takes the constant failures worse than I do, he doesn’t rebound as fast and as a result he’s lost total faith in IVF and all things fertility related. I don’t know what another BFN will do to him, but I have a feeling that if the next one fails there may be no more. That scares me even more!

Now I know everyone will tell me to think positively or just pray about etc, but the simple fact is, I’ve learned along the way here, no amount of praying or positive thinking will change the outcome. And although I know God doesn’t give us more than what we can cope with, the simple fact is I DON”T WANT to cope with another BFN. I know I can, but God please, I don’t want to.