Yesterday was an ok day, I made it through the entire day without crying once. I thought I was doing well, coping with the massive disappointment.

Then I woke up this morning, got back to the mundane business of charting, took out my BBT thermometer and as I lay there waiting to take my temp, the black cloud of sadness and depression descended onto me, crushing the breath out of.

I feel so unbelievably depressed its almost impossible to breathe. Today was supposed to be my test day, today we were supposed to receive the news of our miracle, today everyone wants to know if we have good news for them.

Please God just give me the strength to get through today. To keep breathing, to keep putting one foot in front of the other.