Chapter 2, page 14 of Susan Newham-Blake’s book, Making Finn – One Couples Unconventional Journey To Motherhood, resonated with me. While our circumstances were different, I understood the sentiment, it rang true for me too, Susan’s truth and my truth about motherhood are intrinsically the same. My need for motherhood was more of a condition than it was a choice, or a desire and from that moment on I was hooked on this book.
“Wanting a child, like being gay, doesn’t feel like a choice but a condition”
Susan’s childhood dream of becoming a mother has not diminished with the revelation, alarming both to herself and her bewildered family, that she does, in fact, ‘bat for the other team’. Having made peace with her identity and having finally found a beloved partner, she is now faced with a
daunting problem: with no penis around, how the hell do you make babies?
Time is of the essence: at 34 years old, Susan cannot afford to waste another moment. And so begins an unconventional journey to parenthood with some agonising decisions along the way. Should she accept help from a close and willing friend or go the anonymous sperm donor route? What are the legal and psychological implications of her options? How will her child be affected? Told with disarming honesty, Making Finn is a warm, witty and moving first-person account of two women’s quest to create a family.
Penguin Books South Africa recently contacted me to find out if I would be interested in reading this book and writing a blog book review on Making Finn, of course you all know how much I love to read and that I read like a demon, so I naturally jumped at the chance. The book arrived at my office on Friday, I started it some time on Friday evening and couldn’t put it down, eventually finishing it early on Saturday afternoon.
I loved this book, I laughed and cried the whole way through and totally identified with Susan’s journey, from agonizing over the legalities and ethic’s of donor choice, how she was filled with innocent hope during the 2ww after her first insemination, her crushing disappointment at it’s failure and her subsequent rebellion going into the next round of treatment. Emotions that almost anyone who has faced the struggle to become a parent will identify with.
The book is intelligently written and humorous while exposing the raw emotion, angst and excitement that are all rolled up into this couple’s journey to motherhood. It also gave me insight into the complexities of being a same sex couple , coming out to one’s parents and I was especially touched and moved my Roxi’s parents response to their announcement of Susan’s pregnancy.
Whether you’re a same sex couple, struggling with infertility or lucky enough to never have had to worry about the struggle to have a family, Making Finn is a worthwhile read.
Author: Susan Newham-Blake
Title: Making Finn
Publisher: Penguin Books SA
Pub Date: February 2013