Waiting for our second placement is hard. It is not as hard as the first time, already having a child does mean that there isn’t the same level of desperation and life is pretty much carrying on while we wait.

Or, so I thought…..

Walter dropped a bomb on me this past weekend. I think it has something to do with my rapidly approaching 40th birthday and that Ava is growing up so quickly right before our very eyes….

We started the process for our second placement in March 2011, so we’ve been waiting a little over a year now. We knew that the second time around wouldn’t happen as quickly and we also knew that a lot of birth mom’s prefer to place their babies with childless couples so it would be tougher the second time around, but the wait appears to be taking it’s toll on Walter.

This weekend, out of the blue, he told me that he thinks we should approach another adoption agency and get on their list as well because he feels we need to widen the search.

I was pretty dumb founded.

In the past,the big driver of the process has always been me. Prior to Ava’s placement Walter felt that he was happy with our lives and he would be fine for us to choose to live child free. Then of course Ava came along and totally rocked our world. After her birth, he was adamant he did not want another child but as time progressed he agreed that perhaps we should try and adopt a second time but his attitude was more of a “lets see what happens”.

Things have changed for him and the desire for a second child seems to be burning as strongly in him as it is in me and it’s wonderful to both me on the same page and to both have an equally strong desire for a second child.

But it’s also kind of scary.

We know our SW, we love our SW so having to actively find an additional SW to assist us is a little scary. To put ourselves through the intensive screening process for a third time is all rather terrifying.

But neither Walter nor I are the type to allow fear to stand in our way… if we’d allowed fear to interfere with our hopes and dreams, we wouldn’t be where we are today, so I guess it’s time to quieten my loudly beating heart, pick up the phone and make that call….

Wish us luck!