Last night has got to rank up there as one of the worst nights of my life! I have NEVER battled such extreme anxiety in my entire life. It may seem dramatic to say, but really, last night I experienced hell. I writhed in mental agony in my bed the entire night. I don’t think I slept at any stretch for longer 20 minutes, I ground my teeth and shivered and shook and eventually at 4am I switched the light on and had a good old cry. I cried and cried and cried until there were no more tears and eventually it was time to get up and get to the clinic for the test I was so terrified of having.

When I arrived at VL, I was again wound so tight I could hardly catch my breath but thankfully had a very skilled nurse who was able to locate a vein despite my terrible state.

Thankfully, I think the IVF coordinators must have seen the terrible state I was in and within a half an hour they had called me back with the results. My expected result for today was between 130 – 150 my actual beta is 233!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to have a third beta on Thursday and then Intralipids scheduled for Friday. Of course, aside from the fab beta, I’m also really happy that it looks like I can come off the Gestone because my arse is KILLING me!! So I’ll be switching to suppossitories from today!!

Thanks again for everyone that sent me text messages, emails and messages of love and support, honestly, I don’t know how I would have gotten through the past couple of days without the love and support of my IF sisters!